tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46605774949409326662024-03-05T03:16:03.292-08:00AssonanceAn Amateur's Almanac to Airliners, Air Hockey, Alliteration, Apostrophes, and Absurdity.
Or if you prefer: An examination of my leisure time.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-15478849018801421802013-04-04T10:29:00.001-07:002013-04-04T10:29:34.097-07:00Poll Test 2<STYLE>#qp_main16572 .qp_btna:hover input {background: rgb(183,222,237)!important;background: -moz-linear-gradient(top, rgba(183,222,237,1) 0%, rgba(113,206,239,1) 50%, rgba(33,180,226,1) 51%, rgba(183,222,237,1) 100%)!important;background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,rgba(183,222,237,1)), color-stop(50%,rgba(113,206,239,1)), color-stop(51%,rgba(33,180,226,1)), color-stop(100%,rgba(183,222,237,1)))!important;background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgba(183,222,237,1) 0%,rgba(113,206,239,1) 50%,rgba(33,180,226,1) 51%,rgba(183,222,237,1) 100%)!important;background: -o-linear-gradient(top, rgba(183,222,237,1) 0%,rgba(113,206,239,1) 50%,rgba(33,180,226,1) 51%,rgba(183,222,237,1) 100%)!important;background: -ms-linear-gradient(top, rgba(183,222,237,1) 0%,rgba(113,206,239,1) 50%,rgba(33,180,226,1) 51%,rgba(183,222,237,1) 100%)!important;background: linear-gradient(to bottom, rgba(183,222,237,1) 0%,rgba(113,206,239,1) 50%,rgba(33,180,226,1) 51%,rgba(183,222,237,1) 100%)!important;filter: progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient( startColorstr='#b7deed', endColorstr='#b7deed',GradientType=0)!important}</STYLE><div id="qp_main16572" style="border-radius:6px;border:1px solid rgb(150,163,170);margin:10px;padding:10px;padding-bottom:12px;background:rgb(201,219,229);background:-moz-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%, rgba(201,219,229,1) 19%, rgba(216,225,231,1) 58%, rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background:-webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,rgba(242,246,248,1)), color-stop(19%,rgba(201,219,229,1)), color-stop(58%,rgba(216,225,231,1)), color-stop(100%,rgba(224,239,249,1)));background:-webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(201,219,229,1) 19%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 58%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background:-o-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(201,219,229,1) 19%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 58%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background:-ms-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(201,219,229,1) 19%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 58%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background:linear-gradient(to bottom, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(201,219,229,1) 19%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 58%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient(startColorstr='#F2F6F8', endColorstr='#C9DBE5', GradientType=0);zoom:1"><div style="border-radius:6px;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;font-weight:bold;background-color:rgb(89,97,102);color:rgb(255,255,255);margin-bottom:10px;border:1px solid rgb(241,245,248);background: rgb(85,102,111);background: -moz-linear-gradient(top, rgba(85,102,111,1) 0%, rgba(79,91,99,1) 18%, rgba(69,80,87,1) 57%, rgba(73,98,115,1) 100%);background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,rgba(85,102,111,1)), color-stop(18%,rgba(79,91,99,1)), color-stop(57%,rgba(69,80,87,1)), color-stop(100%,rgba(73,98,115,1)));background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgba(85,102,111,1) 0%,rgba(79,91,99,1) 18%,rgba(69,80,87,1) 57%,rgba(73,98,115,1) 100%);background: -o-linear-gradient(top, rgba(85,102,111,1) 0%,rgba(79,91,99,1) 18%,rgba(69,80,87,1) 57%,rgba(73,98,115,1) 100%);background: -ms-linear-gradient(top, rgba(85,102,111,1) 0%,rgba(79,91,99,1) 18%,rgba(69,80,87,1) 57%,rgba(73,98,115,1) 100%);background: linear-gradient(to bottom, rgba(85,102,111,1) 0%,rgba(79,91,99,1) 18%,rgba(69,80,87,1) 57%,rgba(73,98,115,1) 100%);filter:progid:DXImageTransform.Microsoft.gradient( startColorstr='#55666f', endColorstr='#496273',GradientType=0);zoom:1"><div style="padding:10px">A or B</div></div><form id="qp_form16572" action="http://www.poll-maker.com/results16572xEEC884EB-2" method="post" target="_blank" style="display:inline;margin:0px;padding:0px"><div 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style="width:80px;height:30px;margin-right:5px;border-radius:10px;border:1px solid rgb(150,163,170);font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,0,0);cursor:pointer;cursor:hand;background: rgb(242,246,248);background: -moz-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%, rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%, rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%, rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,rgba(242,246,248,1)), color-stop(50%,rgba(216,225,231,1)), color-stop(51%,rgba(181,198,208,1)), color-stop(100%,rgba(224,239,249,1)));background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -o-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -ms-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: linear-gradient(to bottom, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);zoom:1" type="submit" value="Vote"></a><a class="qp_btna" href="#"><input name="qp_b16572" style="width:80px;height:30px;margin-right:5px;border-radius:10px;border:1px solid rgb(150,163,170);font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;font-weight:bold;color:rgb(0,0,0);cursor:pointer;cursor:hand;background: rgb(242,246,248);background: -moz-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%, rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%, rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%, rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -webkit-gradient(linear, left top, left bottom, color-stop(0%,rgba(242,246,248,1)), color-stop(50%,rgba(216,225,231,1)), color-stop(51%,rgba(181,198,208,1)), color-stop(100%,rgba(224,239,249,1)));background: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -o-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: -ms-linear-gradient(top, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);background: linear-gradient(to bottom, rgba(242,246,248,1) 0%,rgba(216,225,231,1) 50%,rgba(181,198,208,1) 51%,rgba(224,239,249,1) 100%);zoom:1" type="submit" value="Results"></a></div><a id="qp_a16572" style="float:right;font-family:Arial;font-size:10px;color:rgb(0,0,0);text-decoration:none;margin-top:-2px;margin-right:-5px" href="http://www.poll-maker.com">www.poll-maker.com</a></form></div><script src="http://scripts.poll-maker.com/3012/scpolls.js" language="javascript"></script>Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-14828122401007080392013-03-20T11:29:00.000-07:002013-04-04T10:25:12.917-07:00Polling test.<form method="post" action="http://poll.pollcode.com/fbspo"><table border=0 width="175" bgcolor="EEEEEE" cellspacing="2" cellpadding="0"><tr><td colspan="2" height="10"><font face="Verdana" size="2" color="000000"><b>A or B</b></font></td></tr><tr><td width="5"><input type="radio" name="answer" value="1" id="fbspoanswer1"></td><td> <font face="Verdana" size="2" color="000000"><label for="fbspoanswer1">A</label></font></td></tr><tr><td width="5"><input type="radio" name="answer" value="2" id="fbspoanswer2"></td><td> <font face="Verdana" size="2" color="000000"><label for="fbspoanswer2">B</label></font></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" height="10"><center><input type="submit" value=" Vote "> <input type="submit" name="view" value=" View "></center></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="right"><font face="Verdana" height="5" size="1" color="000000">pollcode.com <a href="http://pollcode.com/"><font face="Verdana" size="1" color="000000">free polls</font></a> </font></td></tr></table></form>
Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-90585457549454868732013-02-13T07:07:00.001-08:002013-02-13T07:07:23.552-08:00This is a thing that happened todayI dreamed early this morning that I had tickets to a one-off Elliott Smith "reunion" concert, which is unlikely given that he died nearly 10 years ago.<br />
<br />
He opened with "Miss Misery" and had just finished the first line when my alarm went off. Make of the song choice what you'd like.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/zH8-lQ9CeyI" width="420"></iframe>
<br />
It's the first time a dead person's visited in a while; it used to happen pretty often.<br />
<br />
I don't put a lot of stock in what dreams mean in any Freudian sense, but my visits with the deceased are usually casual and refreshing. Rather than cast a pall over my day, they tend to be harbingers of good fate.<br />
<br />
Of course, that's usually with people I've known; this is my first run-in with a dead celebrity.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-33423859740048427072012-01-25T16:15:00.001-08:002012-01-26T09:00:39.393-08:00Obsolescent Reviews: Loose Lips Sink Ships<span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >[Editor's Note: The author lives in a perpetual state of cultural lag. Frequently, he finds himself "discovering" things that have been around for some time, usually at least 3-5 years. Naturally, he wants to discuss these things with people. But since most people have moved on from whatever the author is currently consuming, the conversations are typically awkward and unproductive. However, the author remains obstinate about his cultural lag and has decided to embrace it. This is one of many obsolescent reviews he will write. Please note that the reviews aren't obsolete (<a href="http://www.grammarist.com/usage/obsolescent-obsolete/">words distinctified</a>) because they are still of some use, however diminishing they may be in the popular lexicon. The author is of the opinion that useful things, particularly media, tend to remain useful. Please note that the author does not possess a Reviewer of Things [Interviews, Networks, Health, Entertainment and Leisure] License (aka ROTINHELL) and his opinion(s), therefore, do(es) not actually matter. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wSBC5Dyds8">Share and enjoy!</a>]</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjkxsSoWTK4axhAtvy99u6nyF-MqflYAxPBlg3CZiGsgAMVRfluN94oAZHeReW9SeruGYoWjgMNI8wbt6h74ZQW-F1XD6AqWmjtMWCn7QnIBzPU0JKVoTjAOV66MPmu1-vahis3EI6VEw/s1600/bandphoto.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjkxsSoWTK4axhAtvy99u6nyF-MqflYAxPBlg3CZiGsgAMVRfluN94oAZHeReW9SeruGYoWjgMNI8wbt6h74ZQW-F1XD6AqWmjtMWCn7QnIBzPU0JKVoTjAOV66MPmu1-vahis3EI6VEw/s400/bandphoto.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701406226087444802" border="0" /></a><a href="http://looselipssinkships.bandcamp.com/">Loose Lips Sink Ships</a> were an instrumental band from DeKalb, IL. They went on a couple of tours, recorded a couple of albums and bent a couple of neurons in people's brains with their brand of rock and roll music. I first met guitarist Matt Frank and bassist Steve Marek when my <a href="http://www.myspace.com/radialbloom">old racket-making band</a><sup>1</sup> played a number of shows with their first group, a noisy throwback to the glorious grunge of the 90s called <a href="http://www.myspace.com/xyu">X.Y.U.</a> (like the Smashing Pumpkins song).<br /><br />But Loose Lips Sink Ships, adding drummer Jacob Boulay and guitar Conor Mackay, is much more than a grunge band. In their earliest incarnations, they called to mind post-rock groups like <a href="http://www.mogwai.co.uk/">Gremlins</a>, <a href="http://monoishere.com/">Mononucleosis</a> and <a href="http://www.explosionsinthesky.com/">Explosions in the Butt</a> (You know you want to click that link). But as the band recorded and evolved, the music moved from simpler musical narratives to complicated and painstakingly arranged instrumental music. The band eschewed simple rising and falling dynamics by interrupting songs' flows with starts, stops, bloops, jumps, bleeps, skips and poops. Lots of poops.<br /><br />The end result was guitars that sounded alternately like squealing noise, warbling warblers, Dr. Alfred Kunkleberg, slippery noodles and pure, unabashed sloth sex (three-toed, of course). The best parts of their music, for me, are the moments of brilliance that lurch from the song structure seemingly at random and are gone before you really catch them. Upon repeated listening, however, it is advisable to sit at the ready with your <a href="http://educationalscience.com/prodimg/tiny/StudentNet2.jpg">audio net</a>, waiting to pounce on those fleeting moments of brilliance. When caught and dissected, you will see they <strike>make a mess because of their hard exoskeleton</strike> are not at all random but are instead carefully orchestrated. Almost too carefully...<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">EP #1</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNL6y_RxySMadqxdDIWoXMzaSDI6SyMs_Mnv4a4wpUWnP9TWJzlp5BgslZ1U5m_3yZj_yn1fdHWD3YDp_V26qquAuiKJ4UtoMibfVjL1waqVq6ANPdZuEfNsRClPsGsoHR5VY9IIYRwcfJ/s1600/EP1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNL6y_RxySMadqxdDIWoXMzaSDI6SyMs_Mnv4a4wpUWnP9TWJzlp5BgslZ1U5m_3yZj_yn1fdHWD3YDp_V26qquAuiKJ4UtoMibfVjL1waqVq6ANPdZuEfNsRClPsGsoHR5VY9IIYRwcfJ/s320/EP1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701407161846986242" border="0" /></a>As the name suggests, this was Loose Lips Sink Ships' first release. The EP features four tracks, named "No. 1," "No. 2," "No. 3" and "No. 4," which run the gamut from post-rock to bizarre lit-rock. The arrangements show potential and occasionally hint at future LLSS records. The guitars play back and forth a bit; the drums don't do much, but they don't get in the way either.<br /><br />"No. 2" features a chiming guitar intro that gives way to an uber-heavy, severely tuned-down-to-A guitar sludge and noise fest. "No. 4" has flashes of brilliance but feels unfinished. "No. 3" unsettles the listener with a faux interview about a rock star's obsession with David Bowie and cocaine.<br /><br />They're all interesting, but the real gem of the record is the opener, "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr1se7ma4MU">No. 1</a>," which features a pretty post-rock landscape punctuated by sound clips from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_LaVey">Anton LaVey</a>, founder of the Church of Satan<sup>2</sup>. The beauty of the arrangement and the juxtaposition of LaVey's discourse present a puzzling and intriguing contrast. The sound clip stops abruptly while LaVey discusses metaphoric human sacrifice and the song explodes and expands exponentially in a strangely uplifting way.<br /><br />And now you're a Satanist. Hail the Dark Lord and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeZlih4DDNg">get cooking</a>.<br /><br />RATING: 2 Devil Horns<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">PUPTENT</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaymXTvlHbqshkAEnfd1oROm08bY_b9U3WA7rEa73oBQ5_IQdWQ3828A0p0frkTxU3UuGOYGDJKPCPYCEHFDH3QRshz0c5OajucBuqKpJWIpD6q88guIzp4raW75aRjA8fyp7tIa-y-UR-/s1600/Puptent.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaymXTvlHbqshkAEnfd1oROm08bY_b9U3WA7rEa73oBQ5_IQdWQ3828A0p0frkTxU3UuGOYGDJKPCPYCEHFDH3QRshz0c5OajucBuqKpJWIpD6q88guIzp4raW75aRjA8fyp7tIa-y-UR-/s320/Puptent.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701407411805561122" border="0" /></a>The Loosey Gooseys released this, their only LP, in 1965. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Pooptent</span> features some of the same post-rock meddlings as <span style="font-weight: bold;">EP #1</span>, but the band has quit the soft-slightly less soft-medium-slightly less medium-kinda loud-loud-explodey format that most post-rock follows, instead opting for a give-and-take-and-give-again-and-then-add-some-more-hyphens structure. The drumming is busier on this record, but the drummer's business combined with good-but-not-great production means that some of the more bustling and complex sections come across as a cacophony. The drum parts are interesting but occasionally difficult to discern on the record.<br /><br />However, this is mainly a guitar band. The typical interplay between the guitarists features one guitar noodling long, legato passage while the second guitar makes huge waves of noise. At its best, the album's arrangements jump and shift, making abrupt key and rhythm changes that leave the listener equal parts aghast and giddy. High points:<br /><br />-"Out to Dinner with Avocado" marks the band's departure from simple post-rock by throwing in leads that are equal parts J. Mascis and Randy Rhoads before delving into sludge metal and ending with one of the sickest, if fleeting, riffs you'll ever hear.<br /><br />- "Meth is Fun" features bouncy riffs with some harmonized guitar <a href="http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail36.html">meedley-mee</a> counterpoint parts that dissolve into a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BemxrrdpuIk&feature=related">Paul Leary-grade psychedelic freakout</a>.<br /><br />- "Fire Burns Squash" exemplifies the above-mentioned noodling vs. noise composition.<br /><br />- The final two tracks ("<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHPi1K_jPo0&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLD445CFA7ED5B754A">Holy Hot Flash Batman</a>" and "Linear Musical Thought") mash up a whole pile of genres seamlessly, interestingly and sexually.<br /><br />Much of the rest of the album follows the previous EP's post-rock theme, albeit with some more interesting twists and turns. But this ain't no <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqjA6Sm_57Y">Mono</a> rekkid.<br /><br />Rating: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_successful_U-boat_commanders#World_War_II">103,734 tonnes sunk</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE CONTEMPORARY ISSUES OF CELIBACY (SPLIT w/EL PIN MELDOU)</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixU64Far-zajl_XYDG_M7wpai6PoQFDf5d0ywMOfKNLV0I2lAVc-AtPFK9HiQQsvA8hd4jRM3W8EETe6WQvXN0E3p17L5ZWHnYQL7SXDc6C_ShWG3tik-fs-aZilkc4rSzHTD9Lhx7wkXT/s1600/Celibacy.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 318px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixU64Far-zajl_XYDG_M7wpai6PoQFDf5d0ywMOfKNLV0I2lAVc-AtPFK9HiQQsvA8hd4jRM3W8EETe6WQvXN0E3p17L5ZWHnYQL7SXDc6C_ShWG3tik-fs-aZilkc4rSzHTD9Lhx7wkXT/s320/Celibacy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701407549462833778" border="0" /></a>Sweet Jeebus does the cover art creep me out...<br /><br />From the avant-garden <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/06/PillarCoral.jpg/200px-PillarCoral.jpg">coral</a> intro of "Oh, Debit!" to the final dissonant harmonics of "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5GgvbhxSfI">The Wisdom of Karl Malone's Sternum Fin</a>," the Loose Lips' half of this compact disc shines like diamonds shining in the shiny sun's shine. This is a focused destruction of your mind, body, will and bowel resiliency. This is Loose Lips Sink Ships at the top of their game. This is [better than] <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG7XBKZuY-g&feature=related">Sparta</a>.<br /><br />The El Pin Meldou half of this split is bogged down by a complete lack of band information anywhere in the vast tubes of the Internet. And how am I supposed to write about people I cannot stalk on the Internet? I digress...<br /><br />El Pin Meldou at times sound like clones of Loose Lips Sink Ships, at other times sound like clones of The Mars Volta and at times sound like clones on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tralfamadore">Tralfamadore</a>. Of note: El Pin Meldou introduces the concept of the full-band tremolo at the opening of "Guave Cingorliia. " Also, the track "Ch-Change in Vulture-Dolphin Fight Pa-Patterns" sounds exactly like you think it should.<br /><br />RATING: 3-1/2 Eberts<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS 7"</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTHxNDKapyQx7VvWQP48olclJxNISfjzfQ2VX41_VPDSi4MxxAn5sI4nP-gP6D6PjKzV-IlF2qXOf5OYOkbBgJg3NR4Qw8OfBpxmzpgg7RZoBISFxZeESSuI8m89sHoUxFvJbXyXCgqlJ/s1600/7inch.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 319px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmTHxNDKapyQx7VvWQP48olclJxNISfjzfQ2VX41_VPDSi4MxxAn5sI4nP-gP6D6PjKzV-IlF2qXOf5OYOkbBgJg3NR4Qw8OfBpxmzpgg7RZoBISFxZeESSuI8m89sHoUxFvJbXyXCgqlJ/s320/7inch.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701407749432430642" border="0" /></a>Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!<br /><br />The guitar sound that kicks off the opener, "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAaA0Mty7DA">Coach Kukoc's Croation Couscous</a>," sounds exactly like that. And you'll never forget it once you hear it. Consider yourself warned. The rest of the track absolutely slays, too. Moreso. Tenfold.<br /><br />The next tune, "Pentwater," gave goosebumps to 30% of all test subjects under <a href="http://www.nzetc.org/etexts/BarVict/BarVict159a.jpg">controlled laboratory conditions</a>.<br /><br />The final track, "Fudge Dunk," is, oddly enough, a saxophone-driven barnburner, so get your pitchforks out and raid the nearest farm whilst this song plays at top volume. Be sure to restart Side B of the record, though, or else your raid will only last five minutes and fifty-nine seconds.<br /><br />RATING: Wheeeeeee-ooooooo-eeeeeeeee<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">EATING HAPPENS 7" (SPLIT w/VICTOR VILLAREAL)</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDY8Wzzq2mqcGq1KAcEkM4MGVRIfZk-ROw6yCRMmh8JzhVTtmxeXlgGdt2OgSJRCUAnVlCSPQVCRgHt80nUg3tcM9UvIUgZfeqyEBK7XAX6wEEqzujIUyy8Ij_jJcl01jDQWyrlu24Wekx/s1600/eatinghappens.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDY8Wzzq2mqcGq1KAcEkM4MGVRIfZk-ROw6yCRMmh8JzhVTtmxeXlgGdt2OgSJRCUAnVlCSPQVCRgHt80nUg3tcM9UvIUgZfeqyEBK7XAX6wEEqzujIUyy8Ij_jJcl01jDQWyrlu24Wekx/s320/eatinghappens.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701408003264867426" border="0" /></a>I don't have the Victor Villareal (Cap'n Jazz-Ret.) track, but it's probably a pretty good acoustic-guitar-and-singing type song. The LLSS track is the version of "Sarah Palin's Parasailing" from the release below.<br /><br />RATING: <a href="http://looselipssinkships.bandcamp.com/album/eating-happens-7">$4.95 appetizer</a> special during happy hour!*<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">LIVE 8-27-10</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp-lzMzL4hA4lL9EekNLzZlYfPmkuTlCDBNeBDo8x8Wp68qwhPP0AaqDi5_JNnUW7cxQ_HOtNVWmGXe91GR371WqkF1TIOJr-u6-z1QPDeoPRcUeCocdnYa4I1-THfrPbgEwY0U3mzuN3k/s1600/82710.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp-lzMzL4hA4lL9EekNLzZlYfPmkuTlCDBNeBDo8x8Wp68qwhPP0AaqDi5_JNnUW7cxQ_HOtNVWmGXe91GR371WqkF1TIOJr-u6-z1QPDeoPRcUeCocdnYa4I1-THfrPbgEwY0U3mzuN3k/s320/82710.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5701408109008647506" border="0" /></a>This was one of the band's final shows. Let me pause to tell you that I was at that show and they were loud; it was like Puh-shwough! [Ed. Note: That's the author's interpretation of an explosion.<sup>3</sup>] And the opener was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYwKcqpg8do">The Poison Control Center</a> from New Hampshire or South Carolina or Iowa or one of those early primary states. And let me tell you something about THAT band: Their <a href="http://lmgtfy.com/?q=poison+control+center">fanclub phone line</a> is some bullshit. All of the operators want to know "what you, your loved one or your pet 'got into.'" I just wanted some tour information and they SENT THE FREAKING FIRE DEPARTMENT AND EMTs TO MY HOUSE!!! IS THAT HOW BANDS FROM MANCHESTER TREAT THEIR FANS?!!<br /><br />[Prolonged silence to let that sink in.]<br /><br />The Loose Lips' set includes four previously unreleased tunes: "Dr. Alfred Kunkleberg Taught Us to Photosynthesize Our Mustaches," "Sunny's Song," "Sarah Palin's Parasailing" and "A Warbling Conglomerate of Warblers."<br /><br />"Sarah Palin" was featured on the aforementioned <span style="font-weight: bold;">Eating Happens</span> split with Victor Villareal and is probably the best of the new tracks with the band stretching the melody and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amicrtFYgVQ">bedazzling</a> it in a stylish manner. "Warbling" is maybe the band's most challenging and rewarding composition's, while "Sunny's Song" is slow jam with a gorgeous, soaring melody. "Dr. Alfred Kunkleberg" is driven by a bass guitar to his laboratory on campus, where he spends the day studying geographic trends of uranium-indicating plant species with an eye toward using his university position to net consulting jobs in the mining industry<sup>4</sup>. You didn't think he was a medical doctor, did you?<br /><br />The rest of the tracks can loosely be described as "Loose Lips Sink Ships torpedo your brain's anti-submarine warfare (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-submarine_warfare">ASW</a>) pickets." The opener, "Oh, Debit!" comes across a bit sloppy, but the band quickly warms up and fires through a fantastic set that includes a <a href="http://www.animalshirts.net/americanflagshirts/wolfshirtAF2.jpg">patriotic interlude</a>, a saxomaphone, a medley of favorites cleverly labeled "Shank Responsibly" on the track list and "Holy Hot Flash Batman!" as an encore. After their performance, the band was sentenced to 13 years in grammar prison for excessive use of the exclamation mark in their song titles, though the sentence was commuted for using consecutive consonants in a congenial manner.<br /><br />Rumor is, a <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrFXihNXBIM">DVD</a> of this show is circulating in Lagos' <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_of_Nigeria">bustling film market</a>.<br /><br />RATING: +10 to alliteration, but no points for assonance<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">All of Loose Lips Sink Ships' music can be purchased from their </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://looselipssinkships.bandcamp.com/">Bandcamp page</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> by naming your own price (except on the "Eating Happens" split; you have to buy that for $5). As for naming your price, I recommend typing in "My Firstborn" for EP#1, in keeping with the Satanist theme.</span><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><sup>1</sup> Yep. That was a thing once.<br /><br /><sup>2</sup> All of the LaVey clips from "No. 1" (and more) can be found <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpaN6YIf5PI">here</a>.<br /><br /><sup>3</sup> This is actually a recreation of a stranger once describing "one time when he saw AC/DC in the '80s."<br /><br /><sup>4</sup> Is Dr. Kunkleberg acting in a professional, ethical manner? Please write a 1-3-1 essay on the morality of Dr. Kunkleberg's research. I expect it on my desk no later than Worsday.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">* Happy hour is from 3:24 a.m. to 4:24 a.m. CST. Void where prohibited. All states subject to blackout dates. No refunds given. Avoid promotion at all costs...just buy the record.</span><br /></span>Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-30895931292263997572011-10-03T10:27:00.001-07:002011-10-03T10:27:34.861-07:00An invitation to LeMons Chicago 2011Clear your schedules, folks, for Team Resignation is taking it to the track again! That's right, we're just stupid enough to try our collective hand at the 24 Hours of LeMons again. We'll be rolling our tastelessly modified 1991 Ford Escort on the tarmac of the grandiose and fine Autobahn Country Club for the Showroom-Schlock Shootout. In attendance, among other find dignitaries, will be our mascot, master, and mannequin Richard Nixon.<br /><br />At LeMons, you will come to truly expect the unexpected:<br /><br />- Watch as Nixon's hands become un-epoxied and fittingly lodge themselves in the radiator of the Grateful Dead-themed Honda Civic behind our car.<br /><br />- Laugh as Team Resignation is chained together in penance and forced to dance to The Village People's "In the Navy."<br /><br />- Marvel as dozens of truly terrible cars refuse to die on the track.<br /><br />- Cry as our incompetent drivers run over your feet in the paddock (to which you'll have full access).<br /><br /><br />Here are the real details:<br /><br />Who? Team Resignation, along with several dozen other teams. Team Resignation is: Dave, Eric, Johnny, Kiko and Norbert. The "who" should also include you, as spectators are welcome. Pit passes for spectators run $20 per day or $30 for the weekend.<br /><br /><br />What? Ah, such a question. The 24 Hours of LeMons is an endurance race for cars that have been purchased and "fixed" or modified for less than $500. The overall winner takes home $1500 in nickels for completing the most laps in the alotted time. The Index of Effluency is also handed out, with the worst car that does the best (judged through an entirely subjective system) taking home $1501 in nickels.<br /><br />Our entry is the #74 1991 Ford Escort that has had its engine, transmission, wiring, and suspension all replaced from those parts on a 1999 Ford Escort ZX2. Richard<br />Nixon will be mounted on the car's roof to "improve downforce." Other entrants may include a flaming (figuratively and literally) <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-205.html" target="_blank">Pontiac Fiero</a>, a <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-215.html" target="_blank">Dodge Neon</a> decorated as the Dumb & Dumber Mutt Cutts van, and a hacked-and-modified <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-068.html" target="_blank">Geo Metro with a Ford Taurus SHO drivetrain</a>.<br /><br />Additionally, Team Resignation will co-sponsor the inaugural "Little MoFo FoMocup," which will award a trophy and an additional super-secret prize to the highest finishing Ford Motor Company compact car.<br /><br /><br />Where? This nonsense will take place at Autobahn Country Club south of Joliet, IL. The 24 Hours of Lemons will run on the longer and faster South Course, while stuffy club members hurl their Porsche 911s and open-wheeled racers around the North Course. The track's address:<br /><br />3795 South Patterson Rd.<br />Joliet, IL 60436<br /><br /><br />When? The race is October 8 and 9, with one race session each day:<br /><br />Saturday session: 10:00 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.<br />Sunday session: 9:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m.<br /><br />The awards ceremony will occur directly after Sunday's checkered flag.<br /><br /><br />Why? I don't understand the question. The real answer is, 'Why not?' I mean, look at <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-580.html" target="_blank">this</a>. And <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-576.html" target="_blank">this</a>. And <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LC10/UG/LeMons-Chicago10-021.html" target="_blank">this</a>. I think my point is clear.<br /><br /><br />Some additional helpful information:<br /><br />- To reiterate: The cost to get in is $20 for one day, $30 for Saturday AND Sunday. This gives spectators access to all spectator areas, the penalty box (You can see stuff like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye04em6tuJc" target="_blank">this</a>), and the paddock area, where you can watch real teams put out real fires in their real race cars' engine bays. Please note that you will have to sign a waiver when you arrive that says that any injuries and/or deaths caused by renegade wheels or flaming pieces of a Richard Nixon mannequin are not the race organizers' fault. Pretty standard stuff.<br /><br />- The race continues, regardless of weather. Last year's race was held in torrential downpour in 45-degree temperatures for several hours. If you plan on coming out, check the weather forecast so you know what to expect. It is the Midwest in autumn, so who knows what will happen?<br /><br />- If you're coming to race, what better way to show your support for the morons of Team Resignation than by purchasing a TR T-shirt <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/teamresignation.574854811" target="_blank">here</a>. It was designed by honorary Team Resignation member Phil Rood. Go <a href="http://philrood.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">here</a> to see and buy all of his other work.<br /><br />- See below for a list of helpful Web sites that have more information. Also, feel free to email/comment/send a carrier pigeon for more information.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.24hoursoflemons.com/chicago2011.aspx" target="_blank">Showroom-Schlock Shootout offical page</a><br /><a href="http://www.autobahncc.com/" target="_blank">Autobahn Country Club official page</a><br /><a href="http://teamresignation.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Team Resignation Blog</a><br /><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Team-Resignation/152704761425395" target="_blank">Team Resignation Facebook Page</a><br /><br /><br />Thanks for your support and please feel free to send us any mental health referrals.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Alan, Eric, Kiko, Dave, Johnny, and Norbert<br />Team ResignationEric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-34613063525815246842011-08-12T15:23:00.000-07:002011-08-12T15:35:48.940-07:00Sweet Rollicking Infidels!!! Donkey baseball!!!While researching my latest <a href="http://greatnamesinbaseball.blogspot.com/2011/08/jouett-meekin-hit-em-high-hit-em-often.html">very serious post</a> (VSP), I stumbled across this phenomenon:
<br />
<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfXMMURGs_GI57OVUpQ4jt0VxVligIlMbKeVFyoXjM38PqyAUV5k2qX7Objtq0j63kYaOSROygSbXBCy-6xIKoMi55w62xpH4zQAlejEGUNXPGjAjswOf970K8TMj10l2sUJD1JHD2NBGk/s1600/Donkey_Baseball_Journal.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 395px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfXMMURGs_GI57OVUpQ4jt0VxVligIlMbKeVFyoXjM38PqyAUV5k2qX7Objtq0j63kYaOSROygSbXBCy-6xIKoMi55w62xpH4zQAlejEGUNXPGjAjswOf970K8TMj10l2sUJD1JHD2NBGk/s400/Donkey_Baseball_Journal.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5640099144642343810" border="0" /></a>
<br />Not only is this an amazing event in and of itself (<a href="http://cbi-theater-10.home.comcast.net/%7Ecbi-theater-10/hump_express/h370.jpg">THE ORIGINAL TEAM!!!</a> None of that <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4nw1bGTUfWEKUSqbIhZAlenRbC4tqhLZso_8-fEab6lrdMskxpra5d4QwMQBX_89yyzdSL2X_QL7bNBjEzvISL8eFh8-du2N2AhtkybvNtxYaJjtGN9ep0rgyCAKYubhMfw_AtxSS-bKO/s400/HOD_Donkey_Baseball.jpg">bush league bullshit!!!</a>), but the opening act is the Tripoli Arab Patrol. Something tells me that doesn't <a href="http://arabnews.com/middleeast/article452647.ece/REPRESENTATIONS/large_620x350/mid_zawiyarebels.jpg">mean</a> the same thing that<a href="http://www.stepintomythimble.com/albums/Miscellaneous-Stuff/shriners.gif"> it used to</a>.
<br />
<br />But I'm sure it was the most thrilling thing in Milwaukee this particular week in history. And I'm certain it was much more thrilling than another <a href="http://www.nashvillescene.com/imager/peta-and-harpeth-high-science-teacher-argue-merits-of-donkey-basketball-mi/b/big/1476166/b8a3/db5.jpg">donkey basketball snoozefest</a> or the lesser-known <a href="http://www.clipartsupply.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/small_image/135x135/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/A/R/AR-OTHER-53-R.png">donkey table tennis</a>.
<br />Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-48649888967050490432011-07-22T15:54:00.001-07:002011-07-22T15:55:19.730-07:00Great Names in Baseball Has Moved!It has found its own home on the Interwebz! Follow the link to the right or go <a href="http://greatnamesinbaseball.blogspot.com/">here</a>!<br /><br />All GNIB posts from this blog can be found there.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-37642252174459134042011-07-19T11:07:00.001-07:002011-07-19T11:19:02.503-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Barney "The Yiddish Curver" Pelty<span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >[Editor's note: This is a guest post written by good friend, fellow baseball enthusiast, and ambiguously names Steve Davis. Thanks for contributing Steve!]</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrvBfGKQEZ1KhtSYgG3hCWrh8p5ydr2Ad1bVXGGX4KkI8oyq_eCdYtUWD09d4Jv9u05u6cg5e4QknIAVhSAndS7b0hOv9KOwqN3FRwQDy1kJZYtBWwQ88WXHpkS7nWN0EDo87ia0NCL_9j/s1600/PeltyBarney.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrvBfGKQEZ1KhtSYgG3hCWrh8p5ydr2Ad1bVXGGX4KkI8oyq_eCdYtUWD09d4Jv9u05u6cg5e4QknIAVhSAndS7b0hOv9KOwqN3FRwQDy1kJZYtBWwQ88WXHpkS7nWN0EDo87ia0NCL_9j/s400/PeltyBarney.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5631127095915403778" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Greetings, faithful reader. My name is Steve - unless you're <a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/123/403799988_5501035983.jpg">hispanic</a>, then my name is Esteban. Despite an <a href="http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/data/media/1/two-adult-bighorn-sheep_10650.jpg">irreconcilable disagreement</a> in regard to how one is intended to spend time at a bowling alley<sup>1</sup>, Eric and I have a mutual appreciation for <a href="http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/aug2010/9/2/a-man-is-hit-by-a-baseball-pic-ap-271719386.jpg">projectiles</a> that are <a href="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/air-traffic-control-elements.gif">dispatched</a> <a href="http://www.eaa.net/upl/4/default/img/airplane-takeoff.jpg">skyward</a> from ground level and the <a href="http://blog.prorumors.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/jose_bautista.jpg ">people</a> that make this possible.<br /><br />You may be asking yourself, "why is <a href="http://woondu.com/images/sport/snooker-legend-steve-davis-crucible/steve-davis.jpg">this man</a><sup>2</sup> who is not <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcxLY2KOyFfXUGmyI_8weT7L3xFczyPFkVXT3XVim7e9UUu_urtEWXNEC8uU7sEkbbH7RzmmcHhEODL2WrORVZ2oTG-b9P0czxCP9TpmzgCISdyZYtWY7_9iUfhmgQb04D6C8U3m5i_mQ/s1600/Eric+Jarting.jpg">Eric</a> writing things to me on Eric's blog?" This is a valid question; let me assure you that your concerns are important to me and <a href="http://www.jmorganmarketing.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/customer-service.jpg1.jpeg">will be addressed</a> in the order which they were received. It's quite simple, really - I'm here to tell you about <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/p/peltyba01.shtml">Barney "The Yiddish Curver" Pelty</a>, who hailed from Farmington, Missouri. While I'm not from Farmington or even Missouri at all, chances are <a href="http://mapq.st/qOzbS0">I'm more from Farmington</a> than you are<sup>3</sup>, and that gives me a decided advantage in the knowing of things about people from there.<br /><br /><br />In the days before baseball was racially <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6aM305ILxZ98O6MjgWcBdnfgIDA64iUiJz467gXzCwnWFmumVn_UR61aQV1p2PMKnDPh_X_2jSxDr9pHrK5jvBpw7Rqv5rB1ZtY0dimJ5MKkXVzzi4zq4KlsizGV2iBtu6suVgbmTkm13/s1600/jackie-robinson-271x300.jpg">integrated</a>, any number of other factions were targeted and ridiculed. Among many people of the day (and, sadly, also in the current day), the Jewish were unwelcome. This caused many Jewish baseball pros to conceal their beliefs and even change their names in an attempt to make a peaceful living. Barney Pelty was not one of these pros.<br /><br /><br />Born and raised in the aforementioned Farmington, Pelty played college ball at the Carlton Institute in said town. After a transfer that saw him briefly play at Blees Military Academy, he began his professional career in 1902 by signing on with the minor league <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nashville_Vols">Nashville Vols</a>. An arm injury saw him bounce back to semipro ball before resurfacing the next year with the Cedar Rapids Rabbits<sup>4</sup>. However, the Boston Red Sox and St. Louis Browns quickly took an interest in the young man with a large nose<sup>5</sup>. The Browns purchased his services for $850, making him among the first Jewish players in the American League. Unlike other players, he was proud of this fact and openly touted the nickname “Yiddish Curver.”<br /><br /><br />Over the course of the next 10 seasons in <a href="http://rustwire.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/figure-i-5.jpg">St. Louis</a><sup>6</sup>, Pelty proved to be a very solid pitcher on a generally terrible team. He experienced what was certainly his greatest success during the 1906 season<sup>7</sup>, going 16-11 with a 1.59 ERA over 260.2 innings and allowing a WHIP of only 0.951. This gave him the second lowest ERA in the American League that season, and it is telling that he still barely managed to eclipse a .500 win-loss record behind that performance. As it turns out, that season’s 1.59 ERA still ranks as the lowest mark in the history of the <a href="http://www.forgottenword.org/hell.jpg">St. Louis Browns/Baltimore Orioles franchise</a>.<br /><br /><br />Pelty retired at the end of 1912 with a tidy 2.63 ERA for his career, which still stands as the best mark ever recorded by a Jewish pitcher. It should be noted, though, that he put these numbers up in the deadball era and was only moderately better than the average pitcher over the course of his career – in this context, he falls well below more notable Jewish hurler <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/k/koufasa01.shtml">Sandy Koufax</a> by a wide margin. Despite his useful pitching, Pelty finished his career with an unremarkable record of 92-117.<br /><br /><br />During the offseason and after his retirement, Pelty kept himself busy running a bookstore, managing semipro teams, working as an inspector for the Missouri State Food and Drug Department, and participating in <a href="http://chicagoist.com/attachments/Marcus%20Gilmer/2009_09_10_daley01.jpg">local politics</a> back in his hometown of Farmington. He did resurface in 1937 to face off against the great <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/a/alexape01.shtml">Grover Cleveland Alexander</a> in an exhibition game which, in keeping with his career norms, he lost. Pelty would die two years later in his hometown at the age of 58.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> <a href="http://users.alaweb.com/tgarske/pictures/nursing%20home%20rehab/air%20hockey.JPG">Eric’s idea</a> vs. <a href="http://images.jambase.com/fans/mpower69/JQjrz.jpg">Steve’s idea</a><br /><br /><sup>2</sup> Not actually me. Googling my name is not fruitful.<br /><br /><sup>3</sup> May <a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/dramatization_may_not_have_happened_tshirt-p235877467005681493qw9y_400.jpg">not be true</a>. I don’t know where you are from.<br /><br /><sup>4</sup> I long for the days when a major professional sports franchise would exist in a place like Cedar Rapids. Bless you, <a href="http://i.cdn.turner.com/sivault/multimedia/photo_gallery/0712/nfl.fans.week17/images/Lions-Packers-Football.jpg">Green Bay Packers</a>.<br /><br /><sup>5</sup> I wanted this not to be true. Unfortunately, it was.<br /><br /><sup>6</sup> Much like the Yiddish Curver, I also work in St. Louis. Even more reason for me to know things.<br /><br /><sup>7</sup> Interestingly, Pelty spent the 1906 season with the historic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Branch_Rickey">Branch Rickey</a> as his catcher.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-11238168761995484012011-07-18T14:20:00.000-07:002011-07-18T15:01:54.237-07:00A serious question...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgBs6G2ezj6NWIFjtFK6UtyXl3sYEZaVWPxQrbo999vgtIqTmC68LNFUfq_Iggz0YO5u6d7GChbHtFej9w-Z6EYaOaPiZ9SyepE40B-KiGuITxie69GD1LPr2lSQrTOtgGD8ZbsVpl_Ydh/s1600/bandcamp.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgBs6G2ezj6NWIFjtFK6UtyXl3sYEZaVWPxQrbo999vgtIqTmC68LNFUfq_Iggz0YO5u6d7GChbHtFej9w-Z6EYaOaPiZ9SyepE40B-KiGuITxie69GD1LPr2lSQrTOtgGD8ZbsVpl_Ydh/s400/bandcamp.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630815672198282738" /></a>Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-31933398150985122672011-07-11T14:47:00.001-07:002011-07-11T15:52:33.060-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Wish Egan<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg47ariGke9IKC91P1UFuRRtYYU5UTzYKXNgFk7F4uUNnEtNT8CucrZwxgE4MPf3q9EEYKpfqNmDTKxO4aPN_2or4RWXsj5hDTesQrdZfRK1HKpqBFmXlNya3D4KhtI7thplfr7E5GQ3J1A/s1600/wish_egan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg47ariGke9IKC91P1UFuRRtYYU5UTzYKXNgFk7F4uUNnEtNT8CucrZwxgE4MPf3q9EEYKpfqNmDTKxO4aPN_2or4RWXsj5hDTesQrdZfRK1HKpqBFmXlNya3D4KhtI7thplfr7E5GQ3J1A/s400/wish_egan.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628215419740101682" /></a><br /><br />The great halls of baseball's history are filled with people who made little impact as players but who found a niche in the baseball world elsewhere. This includes big names like Hall of Fame manager <a href="http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/sparky-anderson-gi.jpg">Sparky Anderson</a>, front-office types like Moneyballer GM <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Beane#Front_office_career">Bily Beane</a>, or tell-all author <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bouton">Jim Bouton</a>. Many retired players find jobs as managers or coaches of minor-league or independent-league teams. And more than a few become scouts for big-league clubs. <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/e/eganwi01.shtml">Aloysius Jerome "Wish" Egan</a> was one such player.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thetestproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/the-internet-a-series-of-tubes.jpg">Google</a> doesn't seem to have an <a href="http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/4/3/d965751b-fa0b-4cad-a7e7-ca298985555c.jpg">answer</a> to the origins of Egan's nicknames, but Egan may have simply wished he'd been better on the mound. Egan, a native of <a href="http://pics2.city-data.com/city/maps4/frs2947.png">Evart, Michigan</a>, began his big-league career with the nearby Detroit Tigers in 1902. Though he only pitched in three starts and lost two of them, he posted an above-average 2.86 ERA in those starts. However, the Tigers didn't feel confident in Wish's ability, and he found himself pitching for the Louisville Colonels of the American Association for the next two years, racking up 44 wins.<br /><br />The St. Louis Cardinals took a chance on him after that, and Egan put up below-average numbers for the Cards in 1905, though the rest of St. Louis team <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/STL/1905.shtml">wasn't much to write home about</a>. Wish made 16 appearances for the Cardinals in 1906, but his poor performance spelled the end of his major-league baseball career. <br /><br />Like so many players before and since, Wish toiled in lower leagues for a few more years. He yielded so-so results for the Kansas City Blues in 1907 and 1908. In 1909, Egan found himself in the California League as a member of the San Jose <a href="http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/6/14/prunes128579024155284817.jpg">Prune Pickers</a>, for whom he won 18 games in 33 starts. Egan made his final professional baseball appearances in 1910 with the Newark Indians of the Eastern League.<br /><br />But in 1910, Egan got his <a href="http://www.northyorksfire.gov.uk/cms_media/images/500x500_fitbox-car_fire.jpeg">big break</a>. The Detroit Tigers hired him as a scout. He would hold the position until his death in 1951. In the 41 years in between, the list of great Tigers ballplayers Wish found is impressive. <br /><br />Egan's best find was a 15-year-old southpaw from Detroit who was found playing sandlot baseball in 1936. Wish taught the kid how to throw a curve ball and, three years later, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/n/newhoha01.shtml">Hal Newhouser</a> would make his debut with the Tigers. Newhouser became an unstoppable force for the Tigers from 1944-1948, earning back-to-back MVP awards in 1944 and 1945. He would also make three starts against the Chicago Cubs in the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1945_World_Series">1945 World Series</a>. He lost the series opener before redeeming himself with a victory in Game 5 and another win in the final game of the series. <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/t/troutdi01.shtml">Dizzy Trout</a>, another of Wish's great finds, picked up the Tigers' win in fourth game of the series.<br /><br />Like many other Great Names in Baseball players, Wish Egan wasn't the best of his generation. Nor was he even in the top 75%. But as many mediocre players have done since, he found his calling in the game after falling short on the field.<br /><br />Read one obit <a href="http://www.thedeadballera.com/Obits/Scouts/Egan.Wish.Obit02.jpg">here</a>. And another <a href="http://www.thedeadballera.com/Obits/Scouts/Egan.Wish.Obit01.jpg">here</a>.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-42433559875209179702011-07-08T16:02:00.000-07:002011-07-08T16:59:16.829-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Malachi Jeddidah Kittridge<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT4QxK1WxBzP2b_XnwGmXsBOE5CUfH2u_Tk204C6EwC5KuhBTJeP19seOeh2qb0IG5tE85KSFUKDw9FvE_rPgrob0RvWWsEpRPSyYXLo6Mvr6-Vvhd2fGdsd4x_cf7Q_5A_hqgxE7gtWZl/s1600/Kittridge.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 288px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT4QxK1WxBzP2b_XnwGmXsBOE5CUfH2u_Tk204C6EwC5KuhBTJeP19seOeh2qb0IG5tE85KSFUKDw9FvE_rPgrob0RvWWsEpRPSyYXLo6Mvr6-Vvhd2fGdsd4x_cf7Q_5A_hqgxE7gtWZl/s400/Kittridge.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5627121987068408434" /></a><br /><br />Like any real <a href="http://www.hyscience.com/god%20bless%20america.jpg">'merican</a>, I enjoy a solid Biblical name. And also like any <a href="http://www.justshoregirls.com/images/blog/angry_fatty.jpg">real 'merican</a>, I love baseball. So I really enjoy it when baseball players have solid Biblical names. From throwbacks like Hall-of-Famers Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown<sup>1</sup> and <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/wheatza01.shtml">Zachariah "Zack" Wheat</a> to mid-century mediocre pitchers <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/r/rogovsa01.shtml">Saul Rogovin</a> and <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/e/eatonze01.shtml">Zebulon "Red" Eaton</a><sup>2</sup> to modern-day trainwrecks like <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/d/davieky01.shtml">Hiram "Kyle" Davies</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elijah_Dukes#Off-the-field_problems">Elijah "All-Around Great Guy" Dukes</a>.<br /><br />But those names all pale in comparison to the majestic moniker of 16-year veteran <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=kittri001mal">Malachi Jeddidah Kittridge</a><sup>3</sup>. Like many of the other Great Names in baseball, Kittridge fell short of being a superstar. And like <a href="http://assonancerood.blogspot.com/2011/06/great-names-in-baseball-william.html">Boileryard Clarke</a>, "Jedediah" Kittridge was a backup catcher. He straddled the Liveball Era of the late 1800s and and the Deadball Era of the early 1900s, though his batting numbers lean toward the Deadball type: His career <a href="http://fanofbaseball24.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/what-is-a-slash-line/">slash line</a> is .219/.277/.274, but his career spanned from 1890 to 1906.<br /><br />His defense was average for the standards of a turn-of-the-century catcher, throwing out 39% of baserunners<sup>4</sup>. So what gives? Why keep him around for so long if he was average defensively and terrible at the plate?<br /><br />Backup catchers hold a lot of value in the big leagues. They tend to be smart players who understand what goes into a game and how to get the most out of pitchers. In a sense, they become secondary managers, and many of them go on to become actual managers<sup>5</sup>. This includes Kittridge, who was briefly named manager of the <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/WSH/1904.shtml">1904 Washington Senators</a>. Unfortunately, his tenure as player-manager lasted only 17 games, of which the Senators won only 1.<br /><br />Kittridge spent his early career with the Chicago Colts<sup>6</sup> before playing stints with the Louisville Colonels, Washington Senators (the National League team), Boston Beaneaters, and the Washington Senators (the American League team). He was traded to the Cleveland Naps in 1906, where he only played 5 games before heading into the obscurity of the minor and independent leagues of the early 1900s. Kittridge played seasons or partial seasons with increasingly oddly named teams. They were, in chronological order: Montreal Royals, Dayton Veterans, Scranton Miners, Elgin (IL) Kittens (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Elgin_Kittens_players">where he was apparently the only player</a>), and, finally, the <a href="http://www.strictlyfitteds.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/attica-jailhouse-saginaw-krazy-kats-custom-fitted-baseball-cap.jpg">Saginaw Krazy Kats</a>. He played his final baseball game at the age of 41.<br /><br />With a history of mediocre-to-bad baseball and terrible managing, Kittridge suffered the ultimate indignity of dying in Gary, Indiana<sup>7</sup>, in 1923 at the age of 52. But, unless your name is <a href="http://carolinarunner.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/zebulon-nc.jpg">Zebulon</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gethsemane">Gethsemane</a> <a href="http://www.disneypicture.net/data/media/97/ichabod_and_mrtoad.jpg">Ichabod</a>, his gravestone probably looks a lot cooler than <a href="http://www.alef.net/ALEFImages/Gravestones/LoserGravestone.Gif">yours will</a>.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cb/Mordecai_Brown_3_fingers.JPG">How did "Three Finger" Brown get his nickname?</a><br /><sup>2</sup> With a first name like "Zebulon," you'd think his teammates could have come up with a better nickname than "Red." But I guess he wasn't around the majors long enough to earn a nickname like Zebulon, God of Curve Balls. Oh, well.<br /><sup>3</sup> Early baseball players are frequently found to have spelled their names a lot of different ways. . The player in question has also had his last name spelled "Kittredge" and "Kittridge" and has had his middle name spelled "Jedediah" and "Jeddidah."<br /><sup>4</sup> 39% of runners thrown out is actually excellent for a modern catcher. But baseball strategy has greatly changed. Without going into great detail, teams around 1900 tried to steal a lot more bases with just about anybody on the team, which led to lower stolen base percentages.<br /><sup>5</sup> Many of MLB's current managers fit this bill: Ned Yost, Joe Girardi, Eric Wedge, Bob Melvin, Bruce Bochy, Clint Hurdle, and Mike Scioscia, though he was mostly a starting catcher.<br /><sup>6</sup> Again, the Colts predated the Chicago Orphans, who became the Cubs.<br /><sup>7</sup> Gary was probably a decent-enough industrial town in the first quarter of the 20th century. While it's not stated anywhere, it seems likely that Kittridge moved to Gary, where work was plentiful, to find a job after his playing career finally ended in 1911.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-83240158357129992812011-07-05T16:11:00.000-07:002011-07-05T17:00:11.862-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Cupid Childs<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXICqRpPlm3vNg2tQI53-SBLk_VnFZ1Tls6k_PuU9v5o4LsSqt7wGy9hG9NaAsTA-YsCG2GyHykwieO-O5RO02axH3P8UMdvPwsEKdvStlvCAplLBFe6Dj23NCtuwbUrBifOiBmAQFus-u/s1600/ChildsCupid.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 312px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXICqRpPlm3vNg2tQI53-SBLk_VnFZ1Tls6k_PuU9v5o4LsSqt7wGy9hG9NaAsTA-YsCG2GyHykwieO-O5RO02axH3P8UMdvPwsEKdvStlvCAplLBFe6Dj23NCtuwbUrBifOiBmAQFus-u/s400/ChildsCupid.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5626010202756113666" /></a><br /><br />Baseball fans loves fat guys. Maybe fans identify better with them because heavier players look more like <a href="http://redlegrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/fat-cubs-fan.jpg">common American slobs</a> than the <a href="http://www.rickeyhendersoncards.com/blizzog/wp-content/uploads/rickey_dream_team_variation_01.jpg">sculpted superstars</a> whose strength is not shrouded by extra heft. <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/c/childcu01.shtml">Clarence "Cupid" Childs</a> was one such player. But unlike modern heavyweights such as pitcher <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/pictures-of-ray-king/">Ray King</a> or first baseman <a href="http://assets.espn.go.com/photo/2008/0426/mlb_g_fielder_200.jpg">Prince Fielder</a>, Childs played a more physically demanding position: <a href="http://shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/tsa-second-base.jpg">second base</a>.<br /><br />He was agile enough to stay at the position for his entire career and round enough as a kid to be called "<a href="http://www.ohmygoodness.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/cupid_fat1.jpg">Cupid</a>." He played mostly in the 1890s and made an appearance in the first couple years of the new century. At 5'8" and 185 lbs., Childs was among the heavier players of the era. While this is about average for a modern ballplayer, the turn of the century saw players who were typically toothpick-thin. That Childs was fleet enough to steal 269 bases in his career is a testament to his athleticism.<br /><br />Childs' never hit with the power of the biggest big man of all, <a href="http://cdn.healthhabits.ca/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/babe-ruth.jpg">Babe Ruth</a>. Rather, at his peak with the Cleveland Spiders<sup>1</sup> in the 1890s, Childs was a patient hitter who averaged nearly a walk per game while batting in the low-to-mid .300s. His career .416 on-base percentage ranks 24th all-time, but Childs' decline in his final four years brought that number down. In his prime seasons of 1892-1894, he drew 344 walks while striking out only 43 times.<br /><br />Childs was moved to the St. Louis Perfectos in 1899, as both St. Louis and the Spiders were owned by the Robison Brothers, who saw ownership of both clubs as a way to slide good players to one team to be competitive. And while the Perfectos went 84-67 that season, they finished a disappointing fifth in a competitive league<sup>2</sup>. And Childs missed part of the season with <a href="http://www.designsdelight.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/vintage-medical-ad-mrs-mosquito.jpg">malaria</a>. Yes, Cupid got malaria<sup>3</sup>.<br /><br />Childs found himself with the Chicago Orphans in 1900, but he was never the same player again. After a disappointing season-and-a-half, the <a href="http://www.fhhs1977.org/gallery/d/584-2/cm-16.jpg">Orphans orphaned Cupid</a>. Cupid played for a bevy of minor-league clubs until 1904. He went to work as a coal driver in Baltimore after that, but Cupid died bankrupt in 1912 of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bright%27s_disease">Bright's Disease</a>. He was only 45.<br /><br />His career was overlooked by the Hall of Fame. They only like <a href="http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/3/8/4/7/3/7/webimg/365085377_tp.jpg">fatties who were media darlings</a>, apparently.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Cleveland Spiders is probably a better mascot than <a href="http://mysoxarewhite.sportsblognet.com/files/2011/03/cleveland_indians_logo1.gif">their current one</a>, which is probably the most offensive mascot in all of sports. They've only gotten away with it because they play in <a href="http://telos.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/flats1.jpg">Cleveland</a>, which no one cares about.<br /><sup>2</sup> It may be noted that the <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/CLV/1899.shtml">1899 Cleveland Spiders</a> were terrible, winning only 20 games all year. The Spiders folded at season's end.<br /><sup>3</sup> Someone please make a Photoshop of this sentence. If you don't, I may have to make an MS Paint mashup<sup>3A</sup>.<br /><sup>3A</sup> By the way, a Google image search of "cupid malaria" brings up photos of Cupid Childs. So I guess he's famous for something, even if it isn't Hall of Fame worthy.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-29392013755854496022011-07-01T15:35:00.000-07:002011-07-01T17:01:34.041-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Dad Clarkson<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUjbv8wFXu3mY8Uqhegl7-hDSiWILtbWij7cK0crcwWBZxmBNFk0q0SaxC68hvKwUOmgGx23_E6Z2tbUrzTCTQFz86prdfDDI_RzDXfQa4yWgUYDsw5LMFtB9qopi8Hxfdkzodkz03zsSE/s1600/Dad_Clarkson.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 227px; height: 386px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUjbv8wFXu3mY8Uqhegl7-hDSiWILtbWij7cK0crcwWBZxmBNFk0q0SaxC68hvKwUOmgGx23_E6Z2tbUrzTCTQFz86prdfDDI_RzDXfQa4yWgUYDsw5LMFtB9qopi8Hxfdkzodkz03zsSE/s400/Dad_Clarkson.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624516490040280658" /></a><br /><br />Professional baseball has always had its share of related players. From Hall of Fame brother duos like <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBrJdEtA8LWgN_1U4krt3Ld9GgwZIk-TE5VuRDef0sQPhmLHTVJLQ40osu4yL9jHQ21geXA2FvbCkUyzLF7FHCT38uwg_D_IHdrNHAOnNTbZFItz6FTbYVVl_tdaMP1okBRl55y9pYPihz/s1600/waner.jpg">Paul and Lloyd Waner</a><sup>1</sup> to father-son pairings like <a href="http://i.cdn.turner.com/sivault/multimedia/photo_gallery/0804/mlb.ken.griffey.years/images/2..jpg">The Griffeys</a> to multi-generational sets like the <a href="http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/1103/sports-third-generation-families/images/ray-boone-bob-boone-aaron-boone-bret-boone.jpg">Boones</a>, families have contributed to the game's rich history. <br /><br />The late 1800s and early 1900s saw a trio of Clarkson boys, all of whom pitched in the majors with very different results. The oldest, <a href="http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/000/234/209/JohnClarkson_display_image.jpg?1274590023">John Clarkson</a>, was an 1880s superstud for the Chicago White Stockings<sup>2</sup> and the Boston Beaneaters, winning as many as <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/c/clarkjo01.shtml">53 games</a> in a season. The youngest, <a href="http://memory.loc.gov/ndlpcoop/ichicdn/s0025/s002588.jpg">Walter Clarkson</a>, threw for the New York Highlanders and for the Cleveland Naps<sup>3</sup> in the 1900s, but he never found lasting success in the big leagues.<br /><br />In between them came <a href="http://flowstate.homestead.com/files/hal9000.gif">Arthur Clark(e)</a>son, more famously known as <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/c/clarkda02.shtml">Dad Clarkson</a>. The moniker strikes one as odd, since he wasn't even the oldest of the pitching brothers. Because I can't find any results regarding his nickname on the first two pages of the Google search I did, I think it's only fair to start the rumor that he had more than 75 illegitimate children in each of the many cities of the National League<sup>4</sup>. When Dad's ol' team rolled into town, he'd spend his meager <a href="http://etc.usf.edu/clipart/37500/37570/095-cent_37570_lg.gif">per diem</a> on a section of bleachers for the children. Dad stopped by the section before his starts to promise to bean the hometown team's superstar if one of them would be a darling runt and fetch him a fifth of <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v241/CherryVallence/Absinthebottle666.jpg">"Pitcher's Tonic"</a> and the finest <a href="http://www.funatiq.com/images/cocaine-toothache-drops.jpg">toothache drops</a> the closest pharmacy offered. The only time the children were ever happy was when good ol' Dad planted one off <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/d/duffyhu01.shtml">Hugh Duffy</a>'s forehead. And when Duffy came to, he never once thought of fisticuffs, for although Dad Clarkson was a scrawny chap, men and [Dad's] children alike understand the rule that a <a href="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lf1i5wEGDQ1qdz6x1o1_500.jpg">serious mustache</a> is not to be trifled with<sup>5</sup>. <br /><br />The end.<br /><br />Oh wait, I didn't even talk about Dad's actual career. In six seasons, Clarkson pitched for four different teams, finishing his major league career with 39 wins and 39 losses. While never an ace, he pitched respectably as a fourth starter on the 1893 St. Louis Browns and on the pennant-winning 1895 Baltimore Orioles, where he likely pitched to <a href="http://assonancerood.blogspot.com/2011/06/great-names-in-baseball-william.html">Boileryard Clarke</a> at least once. His big-league career ended in 1896, though he reappeared in 1900 as a member of something called the Anaconda Serpents<sup>6</sup> in the obscure and likely dangerous <a href="http://www.ebook3000.com/upimg/201010/03/084522212.jpeg">Montana State League</a><sup>7</sup>.<br /><br />Dad Clarkson lived in the shadow cast by his Hall of Fame brother John Clarkson, although Dad outlived him by a year. And while John's legacy of masterful pitching is enshrined in Cooperstown, Dad Clarkson's millions of living <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/a1/Descendents_-_Milo_Goes_to_College_cover.jpg/220px-Descendents_-_Milo_Goes_to_College_cover.jpg">descendents</a> still cry a tear of joy anytime a hitter is <a href="http://loscuatroojos.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/beanball.jpg">beaned in anger</a>.<br /><br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> It's worth noting that the Waners had pretty awesome nicknames, too: Big Poison (<a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/wanerpa01.shtml">Paul</a>) and Little Poison (<a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/w/wanerll01.shtml">Lloyd</a>).<br /><sup>2</sup> Oddly enough, the White Stockings eventually became the Cubs. And then the Chicago White Sox were born when the American League was formed in 1901.<br /><sup>3</sup> And what an exciting team the Naps were! They were actually named for their superstar player/manager <a href="http://luirig.altervista.org/cpm/albums/bain-10/normal_04690--Sketch-of-Nap-Lajoie--Cleveland-AL--baseball--.jpg">Napoleon 'Nap' Lajoie</a>.<br /><sup>4</sup> Makes you wonder why <a href="http://www.bvbinfo.com/sands/images/16_9.jpg">Wilt Chamberlain</a> was never nicknamed "Dad." At least, he was never nicknamed that in public; inevitably, some people somewhere called him that.<br /><sup>5</sup> Please note the inclusion of the word "serious." <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJEjKdRvn5AoZhDy6Z0mE0n3qWliENNasqVl_vJ_m5FvjfDspwbu6-TPaV1ntEsSFVbIvTsWdyw7Q0KZoLlLlZvwUQc7hsjXgsnVMb_fdq-9jicfjO7KNtpOCciKBMXg5H1bplCczqg/s400/hipster-mustache-brigade1.jpg">Ironic mustaches</a> deserve to be trifled with plenty. Any encounter between Dad Clarkson and one of his <a href="http://bite-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/mustache.jpg">hipster-mustache-wearing descendants</a> bypasses the word "fight" and goes directly to "<a href="http://bluejacket.com/usn/images/oth/flogging_med.jpg">flogging</a>"<sup>5A</sup>.<br /><sup>5A</sup> Does that make what I'm doing "<a href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/562900/facepalm.jpg">blogging about flogging</a>?"<br /><sup>6</sup> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anaconda,_Montana">Anaconda</a> is a city in Montana, although "city" is a loosely used word. According to the <a href="http://www.wikipedia.org/">Keeper Of All Things</a>, Anaconda has fewer residents now than it did when Dad Clarkson pitched there in 1900. Also, the baseball club owner apparently enjoyed redundant names.<br /><sup>7</sup> The <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/league.cgi?id=1c1d9020">Montana State League</a> is certainly an interesting place for someone from Cambridge, Massachusetts, to end up. The league featured only four teams: the Serpents, the Great Falls Indians, the Helena Senators, and the Butte Smoke Eaters<sup>7A</sup>.<br /><sup>7A</sup> No matter how hard I try, I will always want this to have been the Smokey Butte Eaters<sup>7B</sup>.<br /><sup>7B</sup> Yes, I know it's pronounced "beaut," but it's much funnier to read it as "butt." I will not apologize to the residents of that Butte. <a href="http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/e/ed/Fozzie_Season_1.JPG">Wakka wakka wakka!</a>Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-91831992808245557072011-06-30T12:41:00.001-07:002011-06-30T13:48:53.845-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Buck Hooker<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6al2idSDNuCPmoCPiHAXnqEqBmp4EBEvbf_YtyFQTegZpIHNl9vYGjmVwulwkIs-AY0nh6KmQaoHQvzkSyn9dyan6f0sMV7GONteDRZBTD1FsBvbidszjron68DmGLF_jxsDbzUZlOfpj/s1600/Buck_Hooker.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6al2idSDNuCPmoCPiHAXnqEqBmp4EBEvbf_YtyFQTegZpIHNl9vYGjmVwulwkIs-AY0nh6KmQaoHQvzkSyn9dyan6f0sMV7GONteDRZBTD1FsBvbidszjron68DmGLF_jxsDbzUZlOfpj/s400/Buck_Hooker.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5624100367763029122" /></a><br /><br />As someone whose last name is a commonly used word, I empathize with people whose <a href="http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/3/9/4/weiner-headline-rise-and-fall.jpg">last</a> <a href="http://www.breakingcopy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/obama_beats_weiner_nypost.png">names</a> <a href="http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2011/6/3/16/best-weiner-headline-so-far-13962-1307133210-28.jpg">are</a> <a href="http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/2/9/4/weiner-headline-keep-it-up.jpg">fodder</a> <a href="http://bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/imagesbest-weiner-headline.jpg">for</a> <a href="http://whosright.com/uploads/54hAm1_img-article---weiner-headlines_174516932450.jpg">jokes</a>. But far be it from me to let a great baseball name like William "Buck" Hooker skate by without mention. Buck Hooker was not a great baseball player; he wasn't good or even mediocre. He spent most of his professional baseball career in the <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=hooker001wil">lower leagues</a> in the early 1900s with mixed results. His <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/h/hookebu01.shtml">major league statline</a> totals only 2 games: a lone start in 1902 (he lost) and a scoreless 2-1/3 inning relief appearance in 1903. Like the man himself, his MLB career was short.<br /><br />I could let this entry go at that, as I initially thought that is probably an incidental and innocent nickname from a different era. "Buck" was and is a common baseball nickname, and word meanings change greatly over time<sup>1</sup>. But part of me doubts that Hooker's nickname was innocuous. If you believe what you read on the Internet, the use of "buck" to mean "a dollar" <a href="http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=buck">dates back to 1856</a> and use of the word "hooker" to mean "prostitute" also <a href="http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=hooker">began in the mid-1800s</a>--long before the man in question was born to his Hooker mother<sup>2</sup>. So it stands to reason that, sometime during his career, the young male Hooker picked up the less-than-majestic nickname from some mischievous teammates. Given the cheap nature<sup>3</sup> of his name, perhaps it's no surprise that his big-league legacy is very forgettable.<br /><br />Sorry, Buck Hooker; you were no <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/f/freembu01.shtml">Buck Freeman</a>. You were no <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/f/freembu02.shtml">Buck Freeman</a>, either.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> But what gay and heady times those were when two bums could freely discuss <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkle%27s_Boner">Merkle's Boner</a>.<br /><sup>2</sup> Please note that I am only stating fact, not judging his mother a trollop.<br /><sup>3</sup> If you believe the Internet, $1 in 1902 is currently worth $24.86. What would you buy with that money? You could purchase a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hooker-Nheat-Canned-Heat/dp/B000BKJ5QY/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1309466147&sr=8-3">Hooker 'n' Heat</a> record.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-67782677523384706942011-06-29T15:58:00.000-07:002011-06-29T16:59:04.843-07:00Great Names in Baseball: William 'Boileryard' Clarke<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPKcY4kZ9XlSfUlGH1t_tlIuY5g99CWwWtje8kXg1EsEwm44aMWRUxAaKyQS245WsVj4nJBdo9tcF42wqPXbGLZuqLiOnvjh9Gv8wYycNDYkmqURmhqM764YjXGYvl3Eoct2wEPWDKJhZ/s1600/Boileryardclarke.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 175px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEPKcY4kZ9XlSfUlGH1t_tlIuY5g99CWwWtje8kXg1EsEwm44aMWRUxAaKyQS245WsVj4nJBdo9tcF42wqPXbGLZuqLiOnvjh9Gv8wYycNDYkmqURmhqM764YjXGYvl3Eoct2wEPWDKJhZ/s400/Boileryardclarke.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623780475797770530" /></a><br /><br />In the Deadball Era, ballplayers were men, men were scoundrels, and nicknames were not <a href="http://www.inflexwetrust.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/A-Rod.jpg">derivative combinations of letters from first and last names</a>. Each turn-of-the-century team was obliged to have a Red, a Doc, a Kid, a Silent John (or Jack)<sup>1</sup>, and a Rube. But along with that cast could be found gems like <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/c/clarkbo02.shtml">Boileryard Clarke</a>.<br /><br />One might fancy that Clarke earned his moniker from a train-like build or from his mighty and lengthy home runs. Rather, Boileryard earned the nickname from his "terrible voice," which apparently sounded like a cacophony of steam engines<sup>2</sup>.<br /><br />Clarke's offensive numbers don't truly stand out. He spent most of the 1890s as a backup catcher on the great Baltimore Orioles squad, who won National League titles from 1894-1896. In Baltimore, he first played with Hall of Famer/Renowned Asshole <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McGraw">John McGraw</a>, as well legends/scalawags <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/k/keelewi01.shtml">Wee Willie Keeler</a>, <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/g/gleaski01.shtml">Kid Gleason</a>, and <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/j/jennihu01.shtml">Hughie "Ee-Yah" Jennings</a>. By the numbers, Boileryard was a replacement-level player in Baltimore, though he hit .297 in 330 plate appearances in 1896. Behind the plate, he was at least competent and possessed a strong arm, which threw out 42% of baserunners in his career.<br /><br />After Baltimore, Clarke split time as the Boston Beaneaters'<sup>3</sup> backstop in 1899 and 1900 before moving to the newly-formed American League and the truly terrible Washington Senators, who made him their starting catcher from 1901-1904. Boileryard was a mediocre player on a Senators squad that could hit but had a hopeless pitching staff. Boileryard contributed to a team effort that led the team to a mighty 38-113 record in <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/WSH/1904.shtml">1904</a>.<br /><br />Clarke finished his big-league career as an unproductive backup catcher on the World Champion <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/NYG/1905.shtml">1905 New York Giants</a> under the guidance of former Baltimore teammate <a href="http://tehresistance.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/morbo.jpg">McGraw</a>. Clarke had the pleasure of not only catching Superstud-of-All-Time <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/mathech01.shtml">Christy Mathewson</a>, but also the crudely nicknamed wonder <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/t/taylodu01.shtml">Dummy Taylor</a><sup>4</sup>.<br /><br />In 1910, Boileryard Clarke took the helm of the baseball squad at Princeton University, where he coached for 34 years until he finally retired from baseball in 1944.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thedeadballera.com/Obits/Obits_C/Clarke.William.Obit.html">Read more here.</a><br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Part of me thinks that any player nicknamed "Silent John" probably had a stack of trunks filled with prostitute bodies that he took on road trips. Baseball players weren't known to be particularly agreeable fellows during this time, and there's something sinister about being "Silent" amidst such chaos. Or it's just my imagination.<br /><sup>2</sup> It's difficult to imagine an equivalent nickname today. The closest equivalents we have to a <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7fVm4Tr6mxC-ZUyIoKLFjJNhO1VST9wFzBLDhmmlwWa3HcA0_HVSkMSwOF0mNDhU09BW_5UI9-fbxJG60itAd8E1lKE8sjoSOR-0bUM1FjW8tZAiJTiHAbVmoc2RhsU7ChIkIa2ve0x4/s400/cls+15F+and+S2,+Worcester+shed+with+rainbow,+July+1975+-+%28c%29+Charlie+%28CP%29+Lewis.jpg">boileryard</a> are probably airports or highways. But "Road Noise" Clarke or "Taxiway" Clarke doesn't really have the same ring to it, does it? <br /><sup>3</sup> Actual team name.<br /><sup>4</sup> He was deaf and therefore nicknamed "Dummy." More on this in a later post.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-54434143487328505172011-06-28T11:04:00.000-07:002011-06-28T11:23:03.464-07:00Great Names in Baseball: Orvil Overall<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUwbkbcVyOZTJx4aKQLrCmH3mm1DYzIzYZDNAWPlJ0O632Af5JPuI0UCwgHdKc7HfQJSc6a8DwlOc62PMqQKiULgaKx5scquWv4KEaJhEL920DsuRwGekK-C8-pCEVhpD4sce0LNOQVQ6Y/s1600/orviloverall.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 287px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUwbkbcVyOZTJx4aKQLrCmH3mm1DYzIzYZDNAWPlJ0O632Af5JPuI0UCwgHdKc7HfQJSc6a8DwlOc62PMqQKiULgaKx5scquWv4KEaJhEL920DsuRwGekK-C8-pCEVhpD4sce0LNOQVQ6Y/s400/orviloverall.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5623333526484441122" /></a><br /><br />Feast your eyes on the great <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/o/overaor01.shtml">Orvil Overall</a>, one of the workhorse starting pitchers from the great Chicago Cubs teams of the late 1900s<sup>1</sup>.<br /><br />Overall came to the Cubs in 1906 after a mediocre 300-inning campaign the previous year with the mediocre Cincinnati Reds and was a fixture at West Side Park<sup>2</sup> until 1910. He then resurfaced for a few innings with the 1913 Cubs.<br /><br />Overall, Overall pitched to a 3-1 record in the World Series for the Cubs in 1906, 1907, 1908, and 1910, including picking up two wins the last time the <a href="http://theoutfieldivy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/sad-cub-fans.jpeg">Cubs won it all</a><sup>3</sup>.<br /><br />Overall was something of a strikeout king for his era, leading the league in strikeouts per innings pitched in both 1908 and 1909.<br /><br />So we salute you and your great name, Orvil Overall.<br /><br />Read more <a href="http://bioproj.sabr.org/bioproj.cfm?a=v&v=l&bid=914&pid=10775">here</a>.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> The decade, not the century.<br /><sup>2</sup> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Side_Park#The_Second_West_Side_Park_.281893-1915.29">West Side Park</a> (the second one) was the predecessor to Wrigley Field. It was bounded by Taylor, Wood, Polk, and Wolcott streets, which is not the location of the UIC Medical Center campus.<br /><sup>3</sup> That's 1908, in case you didn't know.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-22070984359112896442011-03-15T14:12:00.000-07:002011-03-15T14:25:37.571-07:00Eric Rood, Internet ContributorAs a new and enthused reader of baseball statistics blog FanGraphs (and its nerdy and funny-to-a-few-baseball-dorks sibling blog NotGraphs), I greatly enjoyed their series of MLB umpire "Country" Joe West ejecting famous and bizarre people/scenes<sup>1</sup>. I enjoyed so much that I e-mailed in my own literal version, <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-ejects-pilot/">which was published on NotGraphs today</a>. Yay! <br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-on-the-moon/">Here.</a> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-ejects-notgraphs-reader/">Here.</a> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-in-world-1-1-of-super-mario-bros/">Here.</a> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-ejects-entire-un/">Here.</a> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-in-front-of-imploding-kingdome/">Here.</a> <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-on-the-playground/">Here.</a> Watch a slide show of most of them <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/the-joe-west-montage/">here</a>. And then see my personal favorite <a href="http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/joe-west-at-richard-nixons-resignation-ejection/">here</a>.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-73405935557719790372011-01-20T14:20:00.000-08:002011-01-20T15:02:33.898-08:00Resurrecting the Blog, Ending All Political ArgumentsHey, I'm back, and I have a new word for everyone:<br /><br />Thi'merca<sup>1</sup><br /><br />It is pronounced exactly as spelled and will be used from now on to end any arguments presented that may be construed as anti-freedom, anti-American (anti-'mercan), or to counter any blatantly socialist remarks.<br /><br />For maximum rhetorical effectiveness, pair with the words "donlikit" and "G'out.<sup>2</sup>"<br /><br />EXAMPLE:<br /><br />Person 1: "You know, I was thinking that maybe everyone in this country should have health care."<br /><br />Person 2: "WHAT?! That's socialist!!!"<br /><br />Person 1: "Well, I don't kn-"<br /><br />Person 2: "Thi'merca!"<br /><br />Person 1: "Huh?"<br /><br />Person 2: "Donlikit? G'out!!!"<br /><br /><br />I apologize for this; I generally don't like to spout political opinions on here, but, as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rally_to_Restore_Sanity_and/or_Fear">Jon Stewart pointed out</a>, debate tends to skip any pretense any more and move to the <a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4098/4738588427_cfc7ce4544.jpg">lowest common denominator</a>. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfOEMwKO4Vo">Randy Marsh knows what I'm talking about.</a><br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Cleary, this is a contracted form of "This is America." The meaning is self-explanatory. If you don't know what it means, you should probably take in freedom-hating<sup>1A</sup>-<a href="http://deadspin.com/5647457/will-someone-please-help-jose-canseco-get-his-decorative-light-fixtures-back">handout-wanting</a> Jose Canseco.<br /><br /><sup>1A</sup> While one could argue that defecting from Cuba equates to loving freedom, ruining America's game by outing steroid users surpasses any Castro-related defections. Thi'mercuh. We want our athletes <a href="http://thejockitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/sosa-mcgwire.jpg">at maximum 'roid levels</a> so they can <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGmYfzcxnI8&feature=related">hit the ball four miles</a>, thank you. And we want our no-hitters thrown by <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vUhSYLRw14">tripping pitchers.</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><sup>2</sup> Not to be confused with the medical condition <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b8/The_gout_james_gillray.jpg">"gout."</a> Don't click on that hyperlink<sup>2A</sup>.<br /><br /><sup>2A</sup> Seriously, don't click on that hyperlink. Click on <a href="http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/510511/gatoradehockey.gif">this one</a>. It's much more entertaining.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-44993699773648191682010-10-13T10:00:00.000-07:002010-10-13T10:02:29.691-07:0024 Hours of LeMons Comes to ChicagoSeveral months ago, Team Resignation began working on an entrant into the Chicago event of the 24 Hours of LeMons racing series. With lots of trial and error (mostly error), we have eventually reached a point where we think the car might possibly be considered actually thinking about being ready to race in the inaugural Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500. As the race is named after a bastion of all that is true with politics, we decided to theme our car after the true master of political manuevering (read: stumbling), Richard Milhous Nixon.<br /> <br />And so we let you--dear friend/relative/political cohort and/or lackey--know that spectators are welcome to endure the torture of an endurance race for $500 cars. The event takes place on October 23 and 24. Please see below for a brief rundown:<br /> <br />Who? Team Resignation--Alan, Eric, Kiko, Johnny, and Dave. Also there will be 100 or so additional cars/teams running around the track that day. You are also welcome to attend and spectate<br /> <br />What? Ah, such a question. The 24 Hours of LeMons is a race for cars that have been purchased and fixed/modified for less than $500. In our case, the car is the #74 1991 Ford Escort that has had its engine, transmission, wiring, and suspension all replaced from those parts on a 1999 Ford Escort ZX2. Richard Nixon may or may not be riding along with the driver. Other entrants may include cars such as a 1984 Honda Civic with an inflatable Godzilla on its roof or a Toyota MR2 that very closely resembles a go-kart.<br /> <br />Where? This will take place at Autobahn Country Club, which is a road-style race track in Joliet, IL. We will be racing the <a href="http://www.drivefastbesafe.com/PDFs/northmap.pdf">North Course</a> while rich people drive their M5s and Ferraris on the South course that day. I think we'll have more fun. The track's address:<br /> <br />3795 South Patterson Rd.<br />Joliet, IL 60436<br /> <br />When? As previously stated, the race is October 23 and 24. This is not a true 24-hour race; it is instead two 7.5 hour sessions. Saturday's session runs from 10:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and Sunday's session runs from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. We would generally recommend coming on Saturday when the car is more likely to be functioning. If we, for some reason, are not running on Sunday, we will be at the track hanging out and would love to see you. So come either or both days!<br /> <br />Why? There aren't a whole lot of places where you can see a homemade <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrX_TtIzblI">Oscar Mayer Wienermobile</a> or <a href="http://www.murileemartin.com/LDF10Uber/Detroit_Fall10-0073.html">Santa's sleigh</a> driving around a race track at top speed.<br /> <br />Some more information that might be helpful:<br /> <br />- The cost to get in is $20 for one day or $30 for both days. For this money, you have access to the paddock area, where you can see real teams saying real curse words while they put out real fires in their real race cars' engine bay. You also have access to the spectator area, and you can probably come-and-go as you please if you get a wristband at the gate. You do have to sign a waiver saying that getting injured by flying tires and/or flaming pieces of octopus that had been previously attached to a 1992 Pontiac Grand Prix are not the fault of the track or race organizers. No biggie, really.<br /> <br />- The race goes on regardless of weather, unless it's rain heavy enough to be deemed entirely unsafe. This means that we'll drive through moderately heavy rain and cold weather. It is October, so you should be prepared for the weather if you come.<br /> <br />- Here are some Web sites that may be helpful:<br /> - Blago 500 Web page: http://www.24hoursoflemons.com/rodb2010.aspx<br /> - Autobahn Country Club: http://www.autobahncountryclub.net/<br /> - Team Resignation's blog: http://teamresignation.blogspot.com/<br /> - Team Resignation's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Woodstock-IL/Team-Resignation/152704761425395<br /> <br />If you're interested, you just have questions, or you think we're clinically insane, please contact us and let us know.<br /> <br />Take care and please help us,<br /> <br />Eric, Alan, Kiko, Johnny, and Dave<br />Team Resignation<br />"A Fresh Approach to Disgrace"Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-54946169070396763282010-09-24T11:14:00.001-07:002010-09-24T12:07:17.845-07:00The Geography of Fiction<a href="http://media.focus.com/images/uploaded/generic/fictional-businesses-lanford/Lanford_Lunch_Box.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://media.focus.com/images/uploaded/generic/fictional-businesses-lanford/Lanford_Lunch_Box.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br />Recently, my fiancee <a href="http://substantialnews.blogspot.com/">Jenny</a> purchased two seasons of Roseanne, the sassy 90s TV program. I'll admit that I watched once-upon-a-time but didn't really recall much about it. I'm sure you've all seen it, but if you havn't, go back and watch it again. It accurately portrays life in the barren, semi-rural Illinois town of Lanford<sup>1</sup>. <br /><br />And, being <a href="http://www.careerstr8talk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/revenge_of_the_nerds_2.jpg">the nerd I am</a>, this is where I run into questions of fictitious geography. Now, I understand creative interpretation, and I also understand that Lanford is an amalgam of similar, real-life <a href="http://static.open.salon.com/files/utica1222305891.jpg">Midwestern communities</a>. But the nerd in me won't let the concept go that Lanford is <em>supposed</em> to be a pseudonym for a real place. Being that I'm possibly from the area where the Connors reside(d), I thought I'd take a crack at it. <br /><br />What we know about Lanford<sup>2</sup>:<br /><br />A) <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGrmgRmndR_UQcGkT8byuURlWIfyisQFkXO5IXWvAD4g-rwwf0vv6F85cj6bjpNvwAtqEYyTr97WtBclWZEPSTD7kd2VpqXW_Ac3TtxO-FVC4GU0486_6BTFxipMpjGqT2GHxAfTN90ro/s400/celebrity-pictures-goodman-bridges-flashbacks-roseanne.jpg">Dan Connor</a> played <a href="http://briansamson.com/b/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/warner.jpg">football</a>, which typically is only played at larger high schools. As such, it should be safe to assume that the city in question has at least 5000 residents<sup>3</sup>.<br /><br />B) Dan Connor is seen to read [fictional] newspapers with titles referring to DeKalb County and Sycamore.<br /><br />C) The town is approximately 90 minutes from <a href="http://www.midwestmonsters.com/photos/Img_3434.jpg">Rockford</a>.<br /><br />D) The town is approximately 1 hour from Elgin<br /><br />E) The town is approximately 5 hours to Iowa, although this is never clarified which part of IA, so this is kind of a moot point. If they mean the Quad Cities, then none of their travel times makes sense (which is pretty apparent anyway).<br /><br />F) The town is approximately 2 hours from Chicago<sup>4</sup>.<br /><br /><br />Here are my list of possible cities; the reasons for and against each will be displayed below:<br /><br />1) Canton, IL<br />2) Ottawa, IL<br />3) Sandwich, IL<br />4) Woodstock, IL or Huntley, IL<br />5) <a href="http://www.legaljuice.com/Car%20burning%20fire%20on%20fire%20flames%20smoke%20smoking.jpg">Elburn, IL</a><br />6) Sycamore, IL<br /><br /><br />1) This is drawn from a direct reference when the area is given as "Fulton County," where Canton is the biggest city<sup>5</sup>. However, a quick Google maps search will tell you that Rockford and Chicago are each 3+ hours from anywhere in Fulton County.<br /><br />2) Ottawa fits pretty nicely into some parts of the travel time. It is roughly 90 minutes to both Rockford and Chicago, although it's nearly 2 hours to Elgin from there.<br /><br />3) <a href="http://police.sandwich.il.us/Graphics/StarOnCar.jpg">Sandwich</a> again fits nicely into the travel times picture, like Ottawa. It's 70 minutes to Elgin and 90 minutes to Rockford, although only about 80-90 minutes to Chicago. Most of Sandwich is in DeKalb County.<br /><br />4) <a href="http://tnaron.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/groundhog-day.jpg">Woodstock</a>/Huntley are about 90 minutes to Chicago, an hour to Rockford and 45 minutes to Elgin. The times are a little short, so Woodstock may be a little too far north?<br /><br />5) Elburn may be a little close to the suburbs, as it's only 40 minutes to Elgin and 70 minutes to Chicago. It's also 75 minutes to Rockford. Elburn is near but not in DeKalb County. Also, it is a small city, but several nearby towns form Kaneland High School, which sports a football team.<br /><br />6) Sycamore runs a little on the short side, too, with 90 minutes to Chicago, 45 to Elgin, and an hour to Rockford. It is, however, related to the aforementioned newspaper and is the county seat of DeKalb County.<br /><br />So there you have it. Keep in mind that the travel times don't really seem to balance anywhere that makes sense. Any place that's 2 hours from Chicago, 1 hour from Elgin, and 90 minutes from Rockford is most certainly not in DeKalb County and probably doesn't really exist at all. <br /><br />Dear readers, I ask for your input. What city is Lanford, Illinois, supposed to be? (Comment below with your answer)<br /><br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Lanford is commonly referred to as "the suburbs" in Web-related materials, which is pretty odd. I guess it depends on your definition of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suburb">suburb</a>.<br /><br /><sup>2</sup> While I'm familiar with some tenants of Roseanne, I got some help from <a href="http://www.bluesbrotherscentral.com/forum/movies-tv/1956-roseanne-where-illinois.html">this forum topic</a>, which I consider inconclusive, on a Blues Brothers message board, of all places.<br /><br /><sup>3</sup> There are exceptions to this of course. Kirkland High School is very small yet has a football team. Also, Earlville High School in rural Illinois once had a football program.<br /><br /><sup>4</sup> Another episode claims that Lanford is halfway between Rockford and Chicago, which is actually pretty close to Elgin. So that doesn't make a damn bit of sense.<br /><br /><sup>5</sup> This comes from a radio report claiming a tornado is ravaging the county or something.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-26121061153116439542010-09-21T10:24:00.001-07:002010-09-21T10:30:46.421-07:00I'm back...kind of...Hey, I'm still alive and will be posting here again soon. Sorry for the delays.<br /><br />In the meantime, watch <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KIdTPS6LH4&feature=related">this</a>.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-26292179314443301132010-07-25T17:53:00.000-07:002010-07-28T11:19:00.878-07:00Air Hockey Adventure, Day 2We began Saturday by making a run to a nearby Target for some snacks for what we figured to be a very long day<sup>1</sup>. We also nabbed a quick breakfast, eating as much fruit as we could.<br /><br />Phil Arnold delivered a rousing, if a little overly dramatic, <a href="http://vimeo.com/13497413">speech</a> about the "razor's edge" and how it felt to be teetering between <a href="http://www.kayewade.com/Stunt/CarJump.jpeg">victory</a> and <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOLjT0cxLWvyXmaTlNgn-HWFe4zPbjQ1Y1rx2kexKU50GNmwLlXpzOt-VmygJ7KhRBIUMZwN6Fx9QJlf7R_UGuq7v-plq7CKPqTC54rkrcxbh9x6T0hz6UqhsCb-gAcaVgNs5KwJ3ZMY0/s400/fire.jpg">defeat</a>.<br /><br />We warmed up and checked the big tournament bracket periodically for the seedings. As Brian and I were unranked, we were subject to essentially random ranking. I drew the #75 seed out of 102 people. My first match would come against Lorene Shoukry, who was ranked in the low 50s.<br />To say that I blew this match is a total understatement. Lorene's straights were accurate, and she used them frequently, but my defense should have been better. I also failed to execute shots that I should have easily made and complicated my offense to the point where I was entirely ineffective. As a result, Lorene beat me in 7 games, <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/match.asp?matchid=15761">4-3</a>. It was a tough loss, but it taught me about how [not] to handle big games and showed me what mistakes I made.<br /><br />It took a while, but I eventually received my pairing in the loser's bracket: Sarah Weissman. Sarah is the daughter of 10-time world champion Tim Weissman. While only 8 [I think?], she possesses the basic understanding of the game and can snap a nice right-wall over shot. In fact, probably 80 percent of the goals she scored on me were this exact shot. When she eventually develops a cut shot and grows a bit taller, she will be a tough player to beat. As it was, I defeated her <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/match.asp?matchid=15907">4-0</a>.<br /><br />As afternoon rolled on, I looked up my bracket and noticed that my next match would be a tough one, as I would play the loser of the Andrew Flanagan and Niki Flanagan match. For those not keeping track, these two are married and are both very good. Niki played well, but Andrew beat her in a match that could really have gone either way. Andrew won by a set count of <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/match.asp?matchid=15803">4-2</a>, so I drew Niki Flanagan.<br /><br /><br />My match with Niki turned out to be everything I'd hoped to do in Houston. While she defeated me 7-3 in the first game, I had found a weakness in her defense and had keyed in on her main offensive tools. As such, I returned the favor with a 7-3 victory in the second game. She had become visibly (and audibly) agitated, as Dan sat nearby cheering me on<sup>2</sup>. Games 3 and 4 found me executing a variety of shots and forcing Niki to use different attacks against me. We split these games both by a 7-6 tally. The match could easily have slid one way or the other. Niki took the crucial fifth game 7-4, but I made her work for the sixth game, a game she eeked out 7-6 to take the set <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/match.asp?matchid=15927">4-2</a>. Niki looked relieved after the match, and I let her know that I had just played the best air hockey of my life. With three 7-6 games, I had chances to make that a 4-2 set win for myself<sup>3</sup>.<br /><br />The elimination sent me to the spinoff bracket, where I would play for the amateur title, with the highest possible rank being 49th in the field of 100.<br /><br /><br />My first spinoff match was against 11-year-old phenom Colin Cummings<sup>4</sup>. Colin is an incredible talent, and watching him play is truly a treat. He shows incredible skill and poise at the table, and his only real weakness at this time is his height, which I can tell frustrates him. With that in mind, he shows the instincts of being an excellent puck catcher and interference player (a la Davis Lee Huynh). Whenever he gets taller, I expect Colin to be consistently in the top tier of air hockey players. While I beat him in three games (matches in the spinoffs were best of 5), I let Colin know that he's incredibly close to playing in the Expert bracket.<br /><br />I can't recall exactly what time it was, but I had been playing for hours upon hours. I can't remember the bracket exactly either, but I beat Jacob Weissman and Avery Yebernesky. I don't remember set counts, but I think Jacob was 3-0. Avery, a tough young lefty with a terrific left-wall under, had me down two games to one, but I pulled games four and five out of my ass somehow to take the set 3-2.<br /><br />In the winner's bracket, I faced Chris Green. Chris plays a super fast game with a charge defense, meaning that his game is to intimidate his opponent and make them adjust their game to his. It took me a couple games to adjust, but in those, Chris and I split those first two games. After the second game, my legs and arm felt weighed down, and my back ached like it hadn't ached in years. I had played six sets at this point, and I just couldn't physically sustain it. Chris' game wore me down, and he easily dispatched of me in the subsequent two games. However, I had already played into the top 3 of the spinoff bracket, meaning I would leave Houston with two trophies.<br /><br />In the spinoff losers' bracket, I faced off against Avery for the second time, he gave me a good workout, but I triumphed 3-1, despite my tiredness. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and noticed that the tournament had stretched out past midnight. The main draw, which was playing down to the final 16 players, was packing it in for the night, but I had to face Chris Green again and defeat him twice if I was going to win my spinoff.<br /><br />Within the first minute or so of the match, I had taken notice that Chris had slowed his offense down<sup>5</sup>. But my tired mind and my desperation for a win under pressure led me to play a game I was not used to. I typically play a slow, patient game where I try to control the pace of the match and force my opponent to adjust to my game. However, in this match, I sped up my game while Chris slowed his down, and I lost control of the match. While I had two shots working against Chris, I couldn't seem to make either one of them go into the goal. As a result, Chris walked all over me in three sets to take home the Amateur title, while I finished runner-up, <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/rankings.asp?viewall=1">50th</a> in the field of 102.<br /><br />Our spinoff had concluded around 12:45 a.m. Exhausted and sore, I grabbed a beer and talked air hockey with Mike Keller and some of the other players who had come down from Dallas for the tournement.<br /><br />Dan, Brian, and I left SRO finally at 1:30 a.m., dissecting our successes and failures. I fell asleep within seconds of lying down, and my dreams turned to diamond drifts and cross straights.<br /><br /><br /><br />My tournament was over.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> This turned into a judicious decision, as none of us had time to eat a proper meal throughout the day.<br /><sup>2</sup> Air hockey is generally not regarded as a spectator sport. It's considered in poor taste to cheer while the puck is in play, and cheering even after points occurs seldom. The atmosphere isn't unlike tennis or golf, but I think that it could be a more popular spectator sport. Just sayin'.<br /><sup>3</sup> I didn't really kick myself around for not finishing the match better. Dan says he was convinced I was going to win it. Had I played better in my first match, I would likely have gotten a better draw in the losers' bracket and may have been able to face Niki in the Expert spinoffs instead. Oh well, live and learn.<br /><sup>4</sup> Colin won the 10-12 division of the World Youth Championship the weekend before. I also heard from various other sources that he plays competitive chess, which explains his focus and ability to recognize defensive and offensive patterns. From the brief time I was around him, he seems like a pretty special kid. His younger brother Conor won the 9 and under division also and is a pretty bright kid himself.<br /><sup>5</sup> Chris later told me he felt I'd stopped his fast volley offense well, and he'd had to adjust his game to it. I failed to adjust my game to match it, though, and it cost me a spot in the rankings and a second first-place trophy.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-509206971717048622010-07-22T18:59:00.000-07:002010-07-22T19:51:03.986-07:00Air Hockey Adventure, Day 1Well, I've returned from Houston in one piece. I can even use my arm a little, which is nice.<br /><br />Last Friday, <a href="http://malletsnpucks.wordpress.com/">Brian Quezada</a>, <a href="http://pucksnmallets.wordpress.com/">Dan Meyer</a> (my brother-in-law), and I headed to Houston to compete in the Air Hockey World Championships at SRO Sports Bar. I woke early and was unable to fall back asleep, preoccupied with the unknown. I'd be flying on a new airline to a new city, where I'd play in my first tournament in a sport I've only been playing for a year. My brother Joe was kind enough to drive me to O'Hare, where I quickly found Brian and Dan at our gate. We had a light breakfast and boarded our Continental 737-900<sup>1</sup> to Houston. The flight was nice, the plane was newish and clean, and the service was the best I've had in my handful of flights.<br /><br />We arrived in Houston on time and nabbed a wicked sweet <a href="http://jalopnik.com/5464315/beige-bites-back-is-toyota-paying-the-price-for-building-dull-cars">Toyota Camry rental</a>, even though I lobbied for the same-rental-class AWD Ford Fusion<sup>2</sup>, which would have made for acceptable off-road fodder for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUbeKXaW4DA">avoiding toll booths</a>. Thanks to the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljFfL-mL70">magic of GPS</a>, we found our hotel, the sports bar, and a Whattaburger within minutes of taking charge of the Camry. Unfortunately, our room wasn't ready yet, so we snagged some Whattattattattattataburger<sup>3</sup>, then returned to check in quickly. As registration for the doubles tournament was nearing its end, we shoved off to find SRO and warm up.<br /><br />Thankfully, the bar was air conditioned at arctic levels, as the Houston air lingers thick like a gravy in July. We cooled off from the ridiculous outside heat index and took stock of our competition. As Brian and I were both officially <a href="http://airhockeyworld.com/rankings.asp?viewall=1">unranked</a> coming into the competition, we entered as a duo for the Amateur Doubles rather than the Power Doubles, which features most of the top-tier players. We quickly realized that we were two of the older competitors in the event, with the average age probably hovering somewhere in the low teens. But the kids there are good; Brian warmed up against one 11-year-old who score on him repeatedly with the same shot. Shortly before competition began, we were prompted for a team name; we stumbled around for a bit until we decided that we were <a href="http://chelsea.theoffside.com/files/2009/11/johnnykai.jpg">Kobra Kai</a>.<br /><br />After we were good and warmed up, the competition started. I'll spare you the details, since you can read them over at <a href="http://malletsnpucks.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/2010-07-16-world-championships-sweep-the-leg-johnny/">Brian's blog</a>, but we narrowly averted disaster in our first doubles match, then won a couple more matches to put ourselves in the finals. In the finals, we played Hakim Muhammad, who had traveled to Texas from Singapore to play, and Caleb Jaquette, whose mother, Nikki Flanagan<sup>4</sup>, I would face the next day. More on that later...<br /><br />Hakim and Caleb, playing as The Big Boys, had played us in the winners bracket before defeating the brothers' duo of Colin and Conor Cummings, two 11- and 9-year-old phenoms who will eventually be in the top 5% of the game if they continue to play. In our second matchup we quickly took the requisite three games to win the Amateur Doubles title! w00t! Watch it below:<br /><br /><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494226&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494226&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/13494226">2010.07.16 - Kobra Kai v. Big Boys - Amateur Doubles Finals - Game 1</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3192952">Daniel Meyer</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p><br /><br /><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494556&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494556&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/13494556">2010.07.16 - Kobra Kai v. Big Boys - Amateur Doubles Finals - Game 2</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3192952">Daniel Meyer</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p><br /><br /><object width="400" height="225"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494799&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=13494799&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="225"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/13494799">2010.07.16 - Kobra Kai v. Big Boys - Amateur Doubles Finals - Game 3</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3192952">Daniel Meyer</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p><br /><br /><br />After our win, we settled in to watch the Power Doubles play out. Dan's team had lost out earlier, so we watched as Ehab Shoukry and Davis Lee Huynh beat Danny Hynes and Anthony Marino to become the Power Doubles Champions.<br /><br />After a short ride back to the hotel, we <a href="http://www.totalcarcrashes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/car_crash_0188.jpg">crashed</a> for the night, resting our already-sore shoulders.<br /><br />Day one was a good day.<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Being an airplane dork, I feel compelled to tell you that this is the largest variant of the 737. In fact it was <a href="http://www.airliners.net/photo/Continental-Airlines/Boeing-737-924/1451125/L/&sid=a4dac6607671d0ad59bcd89289c2a65c">this exact airplane</a>, which was built in 2001.<br /><sup>2</sup> Disclaimer: Offroading in an AWD Ford Fusion is as advisable as when Hunter Thompson [allegedly] ran a 1960s Cadillac with 85 psi in the tires in 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.' Sure, it might be fun [OK, probably not with the offroading Fusion], but you'll have hell to pay when the great car scorekeeper posts your tally.<br /><sup>3</sup> Sorry, I got on a typing role there. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAmEa6GwO3o">Maybe it was all the speed I took</a>...<br /><sup>4</sup> Niki Flanagan is the top ranked and rated woman in air hockey by a long shot. She's also married to Andrew Flanagan, who finished in the 20 in the singles competition on Saturday.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-43891010803465015412010-07-14T22:33:00.000-07:002010-07-14T22:41:14.139-07:00But it doesn't say I'm talented like him...I pasted my <a href="http://assonancerood.blogspot.com/2010/02/escort-service-pt-1.html">original LeMons post</a> into <a href="http://iwl.me/">this handy thing</a>, and it spit out that:<br /><br /><!-- Begin I Write Like Badge --><br /><div style="border: 2px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); padding: 5px; background: rgb(247, 247, 247) none repeat scroll 0% 0%; overflow: auto; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.2; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; width: 380px; -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; color: rgb(85, 85, 85);"><img src="http://s.iwl.me/w.png" style="float: right;" width="120" /><div style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); padding: 20px; text-shadow: 0pt 1px rgb(255, 255, 255);"> I write like<br /><a href="http://iwl.me/w/d7939cdb" style="font-size: 30px; color: rgb(105, 139, 34); text-decoration: none;">David Foster Wallace</a></div><p style="font-size: 11px; text-align: center; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><em>I Write Like</em> by Mémoires, <a href="http://www.codingrobots.com/memoires/" style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">Mac journal software</a>. <a href="http://iwl.me/" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 224) none repeat scroll 0% 0%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); -moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-origin: padding; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous;"><b>Analyze your writing!</b></a></p></div><br /><!-- End I Write Like Badge --><br /><br />I suppose it's the footnotes, since Wallace uses them with great usefulness. For me, footnotes are a great way to distract<sup>1</sup> readers from the fact that <a href="http://dailycar.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/IMG_5328_1_Rinus1.jpg">I have no writing ability</a> (Not so with Wallace, though. Good writer, very difficult to read).<br /><br /><br /><sup>1</sup> If you followed this footnote without completing the sentence, then I am winning.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4660577494940932666.post-53713908581208095442010-07-14T08:03:00.000-07:002010-07-14T08:13:16.342-07:00Dead hipster garage sales are amazingI can't really tell if <a href="http://stlouis.craigslist.org/gms/1776029692.html">this</a> is supposed to be ironic or not. I guess I'm <a href="http://www.hipstertravelguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/hipster-bingo.jpg">not hipster enough </a>to get it.<br /><br />I'm glad to see hipsters inexplicably have night vision goggles. I suppose that might be so they can see other hipsters approaching in the dark to make sure they <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgknWv5VO3_qg4xMfIp002RP-i0twwEavLMpFGL_HQx_1eujIn9_mrVAysJ3WqkhBgWB8iFvnaPnJHaXf_TXKczQ-lUs_Xi7aPbwKjM7VGXt-HS33EgQFJAR9GSKescLj2l7Zs85boAOQ-L/s400/hipster.jpg">look ironic</a> when the approaching hipsters get nearby so they make a <a href="http://buttercuppunch.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/hipster.gif">flippant acknowledgement</a> of the approaching hipsters' vintage T-shirt or nut-strangling jeans.Eric Roodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11702501963346688397noreply@blogger.com2