This is Jenny Lynn Meyerhyphenrood1. Well, that will be her name by the end of next year.
You see, she and I are getting married next summer. Or fall. Or somewhere in between summer and fall.
Anyway, Jenny initially insisted that I not buy her a ring2. But I insisted back that we find a nice, simple ring that wasn't going to cost a small fortune or weigh heavily on our consciences. So we picked out a pretty basic ring made with two lab-created pink-and-white sapphires. It looks like this:3
Keep an eye out for an evite4 or something when next year rolls around in the mud and then walks across your freshly mopped kitchen tile.
1 Trees only grow out of her head once in a while.
2 Also, Jenny proposed to me. She did the hard part and insisted that I not buy her a ring. Best. Fee-on-say2A. Ever.
2A The spelling here is phonetic so that I didn't have to look up the keystroke for the accent mark2B.
2B Incidentally, to make an "é," all you need to do is hold down "Alt" and then type 0-2-3-3. You may ask yourself, why did you not return to footnote 2 and replace the correct spelling of "fiancée?" And I shall respond that I don't tell you how to do your job2C.
2C But I would if I gave enough of a crap to bother asking you what you do for a living, because, let's face it, you probably suck at it.
3 Please excuse the crappy cell-phone photo; neither of us owns a real camera. But you're welcome to see it in person for the low sum of 11% of your yearly income, plus fees.
4 Unless you suck. Then your evite will be sent to a developing nation where children receive, on average, fewer than two evites per year.
5 weeks ago